


who could ever leave me darling and who could stay?

by winestainedcardigan



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Cheating, Dan Humphrey is Not Gossip Girl, Dan's POV but sometimes it's Blair's, Endgame Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, dan makes blair shit ton of waffles, it's been 8 years and im still mad, minor serenate, post season 6 fic (imagine just one and a half year after chuck and blair's wedding), some season 5 parallels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:14:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27525952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winestainedcardigan/pseuds/winestainedcardigan
Summary: Dan watches Blair chooses Chuck over him, he watches when Blair marries Chuck and now he watches as Blair makes the same mistakes again.
Relationships: Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf, Nate Archibald/Serena van der Woodsen
Comments: 57
Kudos: 75





	1. welcome (back) to new york

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! i've been working on this fic for a while and this will be multi-chaptered. Hope you guys enjoy this!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! here's my new fic that i've been working on for a while, i hope you guys enjoy this!!
> 
> ps: this will be multi-chaptered

Dan Humphrey knew it was a mistake going back here. It was much better at Hudson with Jenny and his mom, there was less drama and no Gossip Girl. He didn’t know why he bothered coming back ever since Blair’s wedding, it just didn’t feel right to stay here. So, the next day after that, he packed his bags and told his Dad that he wants to live with his Mom where he spent the whole year there. Now, Jenny’s been pestering him to come back to New York City which he reluctantly agrees to as long as she comes with him but his little sister decided to cancel at the last minute when he was already waiting at the train station. He knew that this was his sister’s way of telling him to get his ass back together. 

He looked at the sea of people at the Grand Central Station, he took a deep breath before leaving the place. It is colder now since it’s almost December. He’s only bringing one bag so before going back to Brooklyn, he decided to grab a cup of coffee to the nearest cafe he can find. Before he could even get in the cafe, he saw Nate Archibald walking towards the coffee shop but his focus is only on his phone so he doesn’t notice Dan at all.

“Nate!” Dan calls out, making Nate look up from his phone.

“Dan!” Nate looked surprised but immediately went up to hug Dan, “What’s up, man? Didn’t know you’d be back today.” He said. 

“Ah, well. It was unexpected too. Kind of Jenny’s fault.” Dan said, making Nate chuckle before suddenly turning serious, “So, how are you?” Nate asked. He’s the only one who knows the real reason why Dan left the city and hopefully, until now, he’s still the only one who knows about this. Dan looked down at his feet and was unsure on how he’s going to answer this. 

“I’m, I’m okay now, I guess.” He stutters, trying to lie but obviously failing at this, to which Nate noticed immediately, “Don’t tell me you’re still thinking about her” He said, softly. To be honest, Dan doesn’t know. The moment Blair said ‘I do’ to Chuck, he knew he doesn’t stand a chance anymore. He knew that moment Blair already forgot about him. “I honestly don’t know anymore.” Dan said truthfully, letting out a forced laugh. Nate didn’t respond to what Dan had said and didn't bother asking more questions about Blair, quickly changing the topic, “So, man, do you have any plans for tonight?” He asked.

Dan raised an eyebrow at him, “You asking me on a date, Archibald?”

Nate rolled his eyes, “You’re not too hot to be my date but I’m asking you if you want to go to this party that I’m hosting at the Empire.”

Dan ponders on it for a moment, he really has nothing else to do for the night anyways. It’s better to see his friends again rather than moping alone in his loft, “Sure. Why not?” Dan said.

“Great. Well, I have a meeting to attend first but I’ll see you tonight, okay?” Nate said.

Dan nods and says their goodbyes, Nate leaving him alone in front of the cafe. He hasn't even been back in the city for an hour and he already got invited by the Upper East Side. He took a deep breath before going inside the cafe and finally ordering his cup of coffee. He immediately left the cafe after finishing his coffee and hailed a taxi cab, already wanting to go home. When he arrived home, it felt like he hadn't even left. Things were placed at the exact same thing they were left in. He knows that his Dad’s been coming here every few weeks just to make sure the place hasn’t been broken in at some point. He placed his bag on the floor, didn’t even bother unpacking first. He went to his room and it still looks the same, same sheets and everything. He decided to change his clothes first since his outfit right now looks like he’s Hudson trash. As he rummages through his messy closet, one of his NYU sweaters falls. It was the sweater that Blair stole most of the time when she isn’t sleeping at Dan’s, she always says that Dan has a horrible taste in clothing but one night, Dan decided to surprise Blair at her penthouse with breakfast and he walked in her room, seeing her soundly sleeping, wearing his NYU sweater and hugging to one of her pillow. Dan remembers he went up to Blair’s bed and lay down next to her that morning as she stirs awake, he kisses her forehead and whispers, “Love your sweater.” To which Blair cuddled closer to Dan’s chest and mumbled, “Never speak of this.” Dan shook his thoughts away and threw that sweater deep inside his closet, hoping to never see it again. He grabbed a dark polo shirt and a (hopefully) clean black pants and changed into it. 

He decided to just lounge on his bed for a while and check Gossip Girl as he waits for the party. Ever since he left the city, he unsubscribed from Gossip Girl and refuses to check on her website and he never knew how much went on when he was away. According to Gossip Girl, Blair moved out of her apartment in the Upper East Side and moved into a townhouse with Chuck leaving the apartment to Serena and the penthouse on the Empire to Nate. He also found out that Serena and Nate dated again for five months when he was away, only splitting up again just a month ago. Serena also left the city, she’s currently in Los Angeles, living alone in Cece’s home. Then, he saw more photos of the ‘royal’ couple of the Upper East Side. Blair looked happy, she always does when she’s with Chuck and Chuck always has that stupid smug on his face whenever with he’s with Blair and Dan just wants to punch it off. He decided he had enough and turned off his phone, it’s only 5:30pm but he wants to get out of his loft already and just go to the party to get wasted. 

Before going to the Empire he decided to stop by at the van der Woodsen’s first to see his Dad. As he was waiting for the elevator, he suddenly couldn't stop thinking about Blair. This is why he refuses to go back in the city because he knows as he comes back, everything will remind him of her and he was right about it. When the elevator door opened, he saw Blair inside. “Dan!” Blair said with a surprised tone on her voice. Dan blinked more than he’s supposed to, unsure if this is really happening to him right now.

“Blair. Hey, how are you?” Dan said, still unsure if this is just a hallucination at some point. Blair stepped out of the elevator and it closed with Dan not even caring about that right now. 

“I’m good! I’m glad you're back.” She smiles and Dan can see the huge ring on her finger. 

Dan smiled at her, “Me too. So, uh.. What are you doing here?” He asks.

“Oh! I just dropped something off for Lily.” She said

Dan nodded and pressed the elevator button again, only this time it opened now, “So, I’ll just see you around?” Dan said, still pressing the button to make sure it doesn’t close. 

“Yeah. Are you coming to Nate's party tonight?”

He nods. “Great! I’ll just see you there.” She waves before leaving the building.

Great. 

This is just great. 

He finally went inside the elevator and pressed the van der Woodsen’s floor level. He stepped out and saw Lily drinking, while reading something over at their kitchen island. She looks up and saw Dan, immediately setting the paper she was reading down and walked towards him to hug him.

“Daniel, it’s so good to see you.” Lily says.

“You too, Lily,” He hugs back before pulling away. “Is my Dad here?” 

“Why, yes. He’s in the office.” Lily said. He gave her a smile before going up and heading straight to the office where he saw his Dad, strumming over his guitar. Dan knocked on the door, expecting his dad to turn around.

“Lil, can you just give me a moment, please.” Rufus said, still strumming his guitar.

Dan hummed, “What if I don’t want to?” He says.

Rufus stopped strumming and turned around and saw his son, his lips breaking into a smile and walked toward Dan to hug him. “Dan! Didn’t know you’d be back today.” 

“Yeah, well,” He shrugged. “Kinda missed the city.” He said.

Rufus nods, “How’s your mom and Jenny?”

“Mom’s great and uh, Jenny was supposed to come until she backs out the last minute.”

“Oh, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. She didn’t want to come back yet and now that I think about it, I think she didn’t even want to come back in the first place and just want to trick me into getting out of Hudson.” Dan explains.

Rufus lets out a laugh, “Well, do you want to stay for dinner? I can make some bolognese.” 

“Maybe not tonight. I promised Nate that I’d come to his party tonight but I just want to drop by and surprise you.” 

Rufus smiled, nodding, “Alright, come on, I’ll walk you out.” 

After saying goodbyes to Rufus and Lily and making a promise that he’ll come back soon to catch up again, Dan just walked to the Empire since it’s not that even far anymore. It’s already seven o’clock pm which means the party is already starting. Dan arrived at the Empire fifteen minutes later, he went up to the elevator and entered Nate’s penthouse. It was already packed with people, most of them Dan doesn’t even know or recognize anymore. “Dan, you came!” Nate greeted, giving his friend a pat in the back. “Hey, man.” Dan said. 

“So, what’s the party for?” Dan asked

Nate moved closer to whisper in his ear, “Just wanna impress that girl.” He pointed at a blonde girl, dancing with her friends. Dan gave him a look, “You already did that with Lola and that didn’t go so well.” He pointed out.

“Trust me, it’s not gonna happen this time.” He said before walking towards the girl he’s trying to flirt with. 

Dan sighs and looks around the room, hoping to see a familiar face. Then, he sees Blair, looking bored out of her mind, standing in front of the open bar. Blair must”ve caught him staring because she gave him the brightest smile ever. Dan decided to walk towards her, “Hey, Blair.” He smiles.

“Humphrey,” She smiles, taking a sip of her champagne.

“Enjoying your first party ever since you left town?” She said.

Dan chuckled, “Could be better. Nate bailed on me on some girl,” He looked around and motioned for Nate, who was already making out with the girl. “Wow, that was quick.” He said, before taking a beer and drinking it. 

Blair made a disgusted face when he saw Dan drink a beer, “Ugh. Beer? Humphrey, really? I expected better from you.” She said, making Dan laugh. There was a hint of sparkle in Blair’s eyes, maybe because she’s already tipsy enough but she’s glowing. Dan’s never seen anyone this gorgeous. Blair took another sip of her drink before asking again, “So, why did you leave the city, anyway?” 

Dan looked down at his feet before facing Blair again, “Well, Uh.. I-..”

“Humphrey.” Suddenly, Chuck Bass swoops in, next to Blair, holding a glass of scotch in his hand. He still looks the same, wearing some expensive suit, his hair styled the usual with that stupid smug on his face.

Dan cleared his throat, “Chuck.”

“Didn’t know you were back in town.” He said.

“Well, I just got here today.” Dan said. 

He nodded, drinking his scotch with an arm around Blair’s waist, “If you don’t mind, I’d like to borrow my wife for a moment.” He said before whispering something into Blair’s ear. 

She whispered something into Chuck’s ear before facing Dan again. “I’ll see you later, Humphrey.” She said, giving Dan a smile before leaving hand in hand with Chuck. Dan might’ve seen the way Blair looks at Chuck and it made him chug the rest of his drink and got another beer. He walked around and decided to take a seat on the couch, he didn’t even realize that Nate and the girl he was talking about was sitting next to him, making out. 

“Get a room.” Dan says, drinking his beer again.

Nate pulled away from the girl he was kissing, “Oh, hey Dan. What’s up?” The girl continued to ravish Nate’s neck instead.

He rolled his eyes and sighed, leaning back on the couch, “I shouldn’t have come.” 

“Why?”

When he didn’t answer, Nate looked around and saw Blair and Chuck together. “Oh. That’s why.” He said, chuckling. Dan faced Nate, “You think this is funny?”

“Oh, I find it absolutely hilarious.” Nate said. 

“You know, what? I’m going home.”

“No, hey, man. Come on,” Dan only stared at Nate. He looked at the blonde girl and said, “Hey, can you give me a minute? Wait for me there.” He pointed at his room. The girl nodded and hopped off of his lap and sauntered to Nate’s room. 

“Dan, you gotta get over her. There’s nothing you could do.” Nate says, seriously. Dan knew he was right but sometimes he wishes there is something he could do. “I know.” He said quietly.

“You know what you need? Here,” Nate said before looking for someone at the crowd, “Nicola!” He called a brown haired girl and motioned for her to come over. The girl obeyed and walked towards them, “Hey Nate.” She smiled.

“Nicola, this is Dan, my friend.” Nate said, introducing Dan to Nicola. “Dan, this is Nicola. She’s also my friend.” 

“Hi!” Nicola faced Dan. She’s pretty, she has brown hair and brown eyes. She’s too pale for her own good and Dan kinda reminds her of Georgina. 

“Hey.” Dan smiled.

“My work here is done.” Nate proudly says as if he has actually done something, before leaving Dan and Nicola alone and heading to his room. 

“So, how’d you know Nate?” She asks.

“I met him at St. Jude’s, You?”

“He tried to ask me out a few months ago, I turned him down. Not really my type.” She grins. Dan laughs at her response, “So, what do you do?”

“I’m a writer.”

“Oh?” She nodded, “Yeah!”

“What do you write?” He asks. Then, Nicola answered his question but he couldn’t focus. Not very far behind, he saw Blair talking to one of her girl friends and she bursted out laughing, she must be very drunk to laugh because she never laughs like that in public and Dan noticed that there is no sign of Chuck Bass anywhere. Dan tries to bite back a smile, he can hear Blair’s laugh through the loud music of the party. Dan knew that Blair looked beautiful tonight, she’s wearing a dark blue dress and her hair was styled in a low bun but there were strands of her wavy hair falling down on her face. He loved it when Blair looked so carefree and has no single care in the world. For the second time tonight, Blair caught Dan staring but this time she gave him the biggest smile ever. 

“Are you listening to me?” Nicola said, snapping Dan back to reality.

“I’m sorry?” Dan looked at her.

She scoffs, “And here I thought you were different.” she said, rolling her eyes at Dan and walking away. 

Dan blinked for a few seconds and tried to look for Blair at the crowd but she wasn’t there anymore. He looked around again and saw her talking to someone that looked like from the security of the hotel. Her worried expression is written all over her face and Dan almost wants to come over and ask her if she’s alright but he has to remember that it’s probably none of his business, anyways. With no one to talk to and no drink to get wasted to, he walked back to the bar but before he could reach there, Blair called out his name. He turned around, unsure if Blair really called him and he saw her drunkenly walking towards him.

“Have you seen Chuck?” She slurred, putting her hand against the wall to steady herself.

“No. Why?” 

She gulps, “Can’t find him anywhere.”

“He’s just probably wandering off somewhere.” He assures her.

“No,” She whines. “Told the security to look for him, and said they can’t find him. Can you help me look for him?”

Dan sighs, “Fine.” 

Dan tried to help Blair walk around but she refused and tried to wobble around the penthouse on her own but Dan kept a safe distance to her in case she accidentally fell down. First, they checked in Chuck’s old room but found nothing.

“Let’s check the rooftop.” Blair suggested, already on their way to the elevator after looking around the penthouse three times already.

“Why would Chuck be at the rooftop?” He questions as got in.

“He has a thing for rooftops.” Blair presses the button, closing the elevator. When they arrived at the top, no one was there. 

Blair groans after circling around the rooftop, “Where is he? Ugh. Now, I’m dizzy.” 

Before Dan can say something, the elevator door opens and it’s the man Blair was talking to earlier.“Mrs. Bass?” The man calls. Dan’s still not used to that.

“Yes?” She spoke.

“I found Mr. Bass. Apparently, he went home early, saying he wasn’t feeling well.” The man explained. Blair let out a huge relief, “Oh, thank God. Okay, will you please bring the car around, I would like to go home as well.” Blair said, the man nodded and immediately went back to the elevator.

“I’ll walk you down. Don’t want you falling flat on your face outside of the Empire.” Dan said, nudging Blair to go in the elevator. 

Blair rolled her eyes but let out a giggle, still stumbling in the elevator. Dan walked her outside to the limousine and opened the door for her. He helped her get inside and crotched down to see her clearly. 

“Thank you for everything.” Blair says, sleepily, placing her hand on top of Dan’s and he doesn’t want to let go. He wants to turn his hand so he can hold Blair’s hand properly.

He smiled at her, “I’ll see you soon.” He says to Blair before taking his hand away from hers and closing the car door. He stands up properly again and watches as the limousine drives away. He took a deep breath of the New York City breeze and looked around the street, seeing that there’s already bright Christmas lights hanging on the lamp posts and small Christmas trees out of the buildings. 

“It’s good to be back.” He mutters to himself before walking back inside The Empire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!


	2. it's nice to have a friend

Blair was dizzy the whole car ride home, she tried to sleep it through but couldn’t because she also felt like she was going to vomit. She decided to rest her eyes instead and hope the traffic isn’t as bad as usual. She got home in less than 30 minutes, she thanked Arnold for driving her and got out, trying not to stumble and fall asleep on the ground right there. She walked through the door and grabbed her keys from her Chanel purse. Dorota took the day off today and the light was opened when Blair arrived home, she thought maybe Chuck just forgot to turn it off. She turned it off and walked upstairs, her eyebrows furrowing when she saw Chuck’s coat jacket outside of their room on the floor. She picked it up and opened their room slowly, thinking Chuck was probably sleeping already.

He was.

But he wasn’t alone. 

Eva Coupeau was there, laying in their bed with their duvet covering her obviously naked body. She smirked when she saw Blair, “Bonjour, Blair.” She said. 

Blair doesn’t know if she suddenly lost her voice because there were no words coming out of her mouth, she thought she was just drunk and probably imagining things and started blinking rapidly, trying to make Eva disappear. “Cat got your tongue?” She said, her tone thick with her french accent.

“What.. What are you doing here?” Blair said, can’t even come up with a comeback because she couldn’t believe this would happen to her now and that Chuck would do this to her. 

“What does it look like? Or do I have to teach you how sex works? 

“Eva.” Chuck mumbles, still with his eyes closed, not knowing that Blair was already there.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Chuck. We just have a visitor.” Eva said.

Chuck opened his eyes and saw Blair standing in front of their bed, and immediately sat up, “Blair..”

Blair shook her head, trying to not let her tears fall down in front of her husband and his ex-girlfriend. She immediately ran out of the room, went downstairs and heard Chuck shouting her name before she slammed the door of their house. Blair shakily grabbed her phone out of her purse and called their driver, Arthur again. “Arthur? Are you still here? Can you bring the car, please.” She almost sounds desperate. 

Seconds later, the limousine pulls up and Blair immediately opens the car door just as Chuck went out of their house.

“Go!” Blair shouted, watching as the limousine gets farther away from Chuck and their home. Blair leaned back and began to silently cry, when she married Chuck, she thought everything would change. He promised her that he’s a changed man and would never do anything to hurt Blair. Guess Blair’s a fool for believing that lie. She spent the whole car ride to the empire, crying and thinking what she should do and doesn’t know where to go.

“Where to, Ms. Blair?” Arthur asked her.

She gives out the address and Arthur nods and focuses back on driving. After minutes that felt like hours had passed, they arrived at their destination. “Don’t wait for me,” she opens the door before she realizes something. “And don’t tell Chuck where I am.” She finishes before exiting the car door and closing it, watching Arthur drive away. She looks up at the building and she can’t believe she’s doing this. She walked into the familiar stairs of the apartment and before she knew it, she was already knocking at the door. 

“Blair?” Dan opens the door, with a confused expression on his face.

Blair just looked at him before quickly running into his arms and started sobbing. Dan, who was taken back at Blair’s actions, slowly wrapped his arms around her and closed the door without letting go of her. They both just stood there with Blair crying into Dan’s arms and Dan trying to figure out what happened to her. When Blair finally calms down a bit, she pulled away from Dan with eyes bloodshot and mascara down her face, “I’m sorry,” She sniffed. “I got your shirt wet.” 

“Are you okay?” Dan asked, not caring about his mascara tear stained shirt.

Blair just shook her head and looked down at her feet, “I caught Chuck with a girl on our bed.”

Dan widens his eyes by Blair’s revelations, “Oh my god, Blair. I’m so sorry.” 

Blair nodded, refusing to look Dan in the eyes and not long after, she started crying again but this time it was Dan who pulled her into his chest, hugging her tightly and swaying her a bit, trying to calm her down. After a while, Dan noticed she stopped crying and all he heard was her sniffles so he slowly pulled back to look at her. “Do you want anything? Water, tea?” Dan asks, softly. 

Blair nods slowly, “Water, please.” She spoke quietly. Dan nodded and pulled himself away from Blair to go to the kitchen. He grabbed one of their glasses and filled it with cold water. Dan handed it to Blair and also guided her to sit on the couch. She took a big gulp of water, dehydrated from being drunk and crying all night. She hands the now empty glass back to Dan and just leaned on the couch. Dan doesn’t know what to, maybe he wants to go to their house right now and punch Chuck for messing this up. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“No.” She whispers, not even looking at Dan. She was just looking at the distance, there were tears still falling out of her eyes but she wasn’t sobbing anymore. She just felt pain. Dan moves closer to her and wipes the tear that was slowly falling down on her cheek with his thumb which brings Blair’s attention to him. She just gave him a weak smile before slowly drifting herself to sleep. Dan knew how tired Blair was from partying and crying and from the look on her face, it looks like she spent more time crying than actually partying. He watches as Blair’s breath begins to steady, signalling that she’s already asleep. Dan took off her stilettos off of her feet and slowly began to carry her bridal styles so she can sleep in the bed, he can take the couch for now. He gently lays her down and she already snuggles to his pillow. He covers her up with his duvet and just watches her for a few seconds. Dan wishes he can take all her pain away. Dan wishes he can go back in time and fix everything that went wrong in their relationship because maybe, just maybe, Blair would have chosen him over Chuck. Dan sighs before leaving his room and turning off the lights, gently closing the door behind him. He grabbed a spare pillow and a blanket that used to be Jenny’s and placed it on the couch. He decided to read for a while but can’t focus because his eyes keep drifting to his room. Dan just wants to be there for Blair, to hold her tight as she sleeps but he knows that today is not the time for any of that. Knowing reading is doing no good for him, he sets it down on the coffee table before finally shutting off the lights and getting some sleep. He had a long day. 

When Dan woke up, he was shined by the sun on his eyes due to the very huge windows they have in this loft. It didn’t take much time until he realized what happened last night. He glanced at his bedroom door and it seemed like Blair hadn't woken up yet. He stood up from the couch and made coffee, pulling out two mugs and placing them on the counter. He also pulled out their trusty waffle maker and made waffles for him and Blair. As he was about to place a waffle on the plate, he heard his bedroom door open. Blair’s finally awake. Her feet padded to the floor and her hair’s now down and she’s not wearing her dress from the previous night anymore. She slowly walks up to the kitchen, wearing one of Dan’s white shirts and possibly one of his old sweatpants. 

“Good morning. Nice outfit.” He said, placing the waffle and coffee in front of her.

Blair bushes, “I’m sorry. It’s just I woke up last night because my dress was very uncomfortable to sleep in and I decided to raid your closet.” She said. 

“No, it’s okay. Don’t worry.” 

She gives him a smile before beginning to eat her breakfast.

“So, how are you?” Dan asked. Blair’s eyes were swollen from the crying and she looked like she really didn’t get enough sleep last night. 

“I don’t know. I don’t want to come back home yet and face Chuck.” She said, only looking down at her waffles. 

Dan nods understandably, “You can stay here.”

Blair looks up and gives him a smile, “Thank you.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dan asked after moments of silence, he knew he already asked Blair about this last night but he wants her to know that he’s going to be there for her. 

Blair sighs, knowing she has to talk about this sooner or later, “When I got home, I caught Chuck in bed with Eva, the french girl he used to date after we first broke up, and I just couldn’t believe he would do something like that to me,”

Well, I would. Dan has to bite back his tongue.

“No wonder he went missing in the middle of the party. One second, he just told me he’s going to the bathroom and maybe, I didn’t realize because I had too many drinks last night,” She rolls her eyes at herself as she stuffed a pancake in her mouth. “Next thing I know, I can’t find Chuck! Eva probably came back and Chuck saw her, immediately taking a chance with her even when he’s married.” Blair said. Now, only she noticed the diamond ring on her finger. She looked at it, thinking this doesn’t mean anything now as she took it off and placed it, rather harshly, on the countertop. 

“Useless.” She mutters. 

“You have to confront Chuck about this, sooner or later.” Dan said.

Blair groans, “Don’t remind me. Just want the whole day not thinking about Chuck Bass and not leaving this house.”  
Dan chuckles, “Sounds like a plan.”

After breakfast, Blair decided to take a shower, wanting to get rid of the scent of alcohol from her body while Dan cleans up and washes the dishes. Dan didn’t realize how long Blair was in the shower until he realized he had to pee. “Blair, are you almost done?” He asked, standing outside of the bathroom door.

“Almost!” She shouted back.

“You’ve been there for 20 minutes, should I be worried?” 

“No! It’s just hard to take a shower when you just have one bar of soap here!”

Dan rolled his eyes and walked back to the couch, taking his phone out instead. He has a new message from Nate, asking him if he wants to catch up and grab lunch with him today. Dan replied that he can’t because he and his Dad already made plans. After five more minutes, Blair finally walked out of the shower with Dan’s towel wrapped around her and another towel wrapped around her hair. She glared at Dan, “I can’t believe you don’t even have a spare toothbrush!” She said before stomping back to Dan’s room. Dan went to the bathroom to pee and when he came out, he saw that his bedroom door was open. Dan slowly looked, unsure if Blair finished dressing. Her back was facing but Dan recognized the sweater and she somehow found the NYU sweater Dan tried to hide deep in his closet and she’s also wearing silk pajama shorts and Dan doesn’t know where she got that from. Blair turned around and saw Dan, “I can’t believe you had this all along. I was looking for this!” She pointed at the short she was wearing.

Dan raised an eyebrow at her, not really sure what she’s talking about, “This was one of my pajamas, I must’ve left it in here when we were still dating.” She clarifies.

“Oh, I, uh, must’ve forgot to give it back to you.”

Blair just nodded and sat down at the edge of the bed, Dan doing the same and sitting right next to her. Blair sighed deeply and rested her head on Dan’s shoulder, “So, what do you wanna do now?” Dan spoke, after a few seconds of silence between them. He can feel Blair shrugging her shoulders, “I don’t know,” She mumbles. 

“My second marriage, and the marriage I actually want to be in, isn’t actually turning out how I want it to be.” She said. 

Dan didn’t respond, nor did he know how to respond. This is the second time in his lifetime that he is taking care of Blair Waldorf because of her marriage but the difference this time is that he actually loves her husband and doesn’t want to run to Dominican Republic for a divorce. Dan wrapped his arm around her and he could feel Blair crying again, he gently shushed her and tried to wipe her tears away, she pulled away from Dan, still tears flowing down. Her face was red and her eyes were really swollen this time and this time, she’s hyperventilating.

Dan cups her face, wiping away her tears with the pad of his thumb, “Hey, it’s going to be okay.” He whispers, softly, that only Blair could hear but she doesn’t stop, she’s crying so hard and she’s now having a hard time to breath and all Blair could think about at that time is how much she wants to die, the images of Chuck laying next to Eva kept on replaying on her head. She’s trying to push it away, to forget it but it was nearly impossible. It’s like it was embedded on her mind forever. Blair’s eyes were blurry due to her tears and she couldn’t see Dan anymore, she tried to blink it away but it was only replaced by new tears. She can hear Dan shushing her and whispering, “Calm down.” while wiping her never ending tears off of her cheek. 

“Hey, I’m here, Blair. Please, calm down.” Dan said, in the softest voice, he has. The voice he only used when he was still talking to a baby Jenny, afraid if he speaks louder than that, he’s going to wake baby Jenny up and cry. 

Blair got tired from crying, or possibly she ran out of tears, but Dan is still holding her face with his thumb, slowly caressing her cheek and it felt comforting for Blair, she knew that Dan always knew how to calm her down. It’s one of Dan’s affects on her. When Dan saw that she stopped crying, he slowly brought his hand back, he was still looking at her but afraid to speak. It’s like Blair is so fragile at this point, like a cracked glass, waiting for any moment to break. 

“Do you have any ice cream?” Blair asked, quietly.

Dan smiled a bit, “Yeah.” He got up and went to the kitchen, he bought some ice cream last night before he went home from Nate’s party. He knows what Blair’s asking for, she wants to eat ice cream so she can cry and watch old movies. Dan remembers when he and Blair were still dating, when she was feeling unmotivated and uninspired, she would call Dan, asking him if she can go to his loft and when she comes, there’s already her favorite pint of ice cream waiting for her and Dan’s stack of DVDs are already out. So, that’s what he did, he placed the pint of ice cream on the coffee table, grabbed his laptop, and turned it on then he grabbed his DVDs and went back to his bedroom. Blair was still in the same spot she was where Dan left her, her head was hanging low, looking down at her polished fingers. 

“Hey,” Dan said, making Blair look up. “Come on.” 

Blair followed him all the way through the living room where she saw what Dan had set up for her. With a smile on her face, she sat next to Dan on the couch.  
“Rosemary’s Baby?” He asks, holding up the DVD.

Blair nodded in response, still smiling at him. Dan handed her a spoon and gave her the ice cream to which she happily accepted it. They watched Rosemary’s Baby while Blair leaned on Dan and ate her ice cream, and him trying to get some small scoops from her too. After watching Rosemary’s Baby, Blair requested to watch Funny Face. These were the moments Blair misses about Dan, their friendship because despite the fact that they were practically mortal enemies from the beginning, Dan knows how to calm her and cheer her up in the best way he can. Blair thinks that Dan still hasn’t lost his Humphrey appeal.


	3. nothing good starts in a getaway car

It’s already been three days ever since Blair caught Chuck in bed with Eva, she hasn’t left the loft and thankfully, Chuck still doesn’t know where she is, which means Arnold is really good at keeping secrets. Dan’s on the way to the van der Woodsen’s penthouse right now to see Rufus which means Blair has the loft all to herself, Dan was really unsure if it’s okay to leave Blair alone but after constantly persisting him that she’s gonna be fine and she’ll just call if she ever burns down the loft down. 

“Please, don’t burn down the loft.” Dan said, already at the door.

Blair rolls her eyes, “I won’t,” She pats Dan’s chest, “Now, go.”

Dan smiled, “I’ll be back before lunch.” He said before finally leaving the loft and closing the door behind him. 

Blair’s been feeling a little better than she was three days ago. She wasn’t sobbing uncontrollably ever so often now, she only cries when she’s all alone in bed, thinking about what happened. Dan still notices, he notices Blair’s red eyes and sometimes the constant sniffing but he doesn’t say anything. Last night, Blair couldn’t sleep, she kept tossing and turning, afraid to sleep because she started dreaming about it now, it’s like she can never escape it. Around midnight last night, she got up and went out to the living room where she saw Dan, still awake and reading a book. He noticed her presence, closed the book shut and looked at her, “Hey. Why are you awake?

“Why are you awake?” She questions back.

“Couldn’t sleep, so I just started reading instead.” He waves the book. 

Blair nodded.

“Are you okay?” He stood up and walked closer to Blair.

“I’ve been having nightmares and, uh, I couldn’t sleep,” Blair said, playing the ends of Dan’s sweater she was wearing. She looked up into his eyes, “Can you, I don’t know, sleep with me?” She asked.

Dan blinks at her, “Um, Yeah. Sure. If it’s okay.” 

“Well, that’s why I was asking.” Blair smiled.

Blair finally fell asleep that night with Dan holding her from behind and for a moment there, she felt like she was at peace. When Blair woke up this morning, her head was laying on Dan’s chest and his arm was wrapped around her waist. She almost wanted to stay there forever instead but she slowly pulled herself away from Dan’s grasp, trying not to wake him up.

Right now, Blair’s drinking her tea and she realized that was the best sleep she has ever had ever since she ran away from her home. She quickly finishes up on her drink and decides to take a shower instead, she already nagged Dan enough to finally buy a shampoo and conditioner that’s not in one bottle and a toothbrush. Before she could even get in the bathroom, there was a knock on the door, making her groan. Dan must’ve forgot his keys

“How can you forget your keys?” She said before opening the door but it wasn’t Dan on the other side. 

“Blair?” 

“Serena!” 

“What.. What are you doing here?” Serena asked, slowly. 

“Um..”

“And why are you wearing Dan’s clothes?” She asked again, eyeing Blair up and down. Since Blair still hasn’t dropped by at her own house, she’s still wearing whatever Dan has in his closet that doesn’t want to make Blair vomit. She’s wearing one of Dan’s plain shirts and his sweatpants that she made sure Dan washed it. 

“Are you cheating on Chuck?” Serena accuses.

“What? No!” Blair quickly defends herself. It’s one thing that Chuck was the one who actually cheated on her but now she’s getting told that she’s the one who cheated? Unbelievable. 

“Then, what are you doing here at 9 o’clock in the morning, wearing Dan’s clothes?”

Blair sighs and closes her eyes, “I can explain.”

“Please!”

Blair opens the door wider so Serena can get in, she enters and sits herself down on the couch with her arms crossed. Blair sat in front of Serena before sighing again and started to explain what happened to her these last few days.

“Oh my god, B. I’m so sorry.” Serena’s expression soften this time. Blair just shrugged in response and leaned back on the couch.

“Have you talked to Chuck?” She asks.

“No. Haven’t even left this place.” 

“You need to talk to Chuck about this.” Serena said. 

“I know but I’m not ready.” Bair answers.

Serena nodded, “I understand but B, you need to face this so you can move on or do whatever you want to do instead of being stuck here in Dan’s loft.” She said. Blair knows that. The sooner she talks to Chuck, the sooner she’ll stop feeling like this. Blair nodded, “You’re right.”

Serena smiled and stood up, “I have to go, I need to see my mom.” 

“Okay.” 

Blair stood up and gave Serena a hug, “It was nice seeing you, S.” 

She hugged back, “You too, B.” 

They pulled away and as Serena opened the door, she stopped and looked at Blair one more time, “Please, talk to Chuck.” She says and watches Blair nod before leaving the loft.

Now that Blair’s left alone, she can feel like her phone’s calling her and telling her to call Chuck. He’s been calling her phone non stop and leaving almost a hundred messages a day saying how sorry he is and he misses her and he wants her to come home. Of course, Blair didn’t respond to any of it and continues to ignore it. She grabbed her phone and saw that there were 10 new messages from Chuck and she decided to look through it, and it was the same. She sighs and deletes his new messages, contemplating to just block Chuck’s phone number instead. Blair went on her contacts and looked for a certain name, pressing the call button and pressing her phone against her ear as she waited for him to pick up.

“Hey Blair, you okay? You didn’t burn down the loft, did you?” 

Blair rolled her eyes, “Very funny, Humphrey.” 

She hears him let out a chuckle before speaking again, “What do you want?”

“I want you to go to Bergdorf’s and pick up some clothes.” She said.

“Blair, I am not buying you a designer dress.”

“You won’t be buying me anything, Humphrey. You will be simply picking it up. I’m going to call Bergdorf’s after this and I will let them know that someone’s gonna pick up my dress.”

“Why do you even need a dress?”

“Because tonight, we’ll go to dinner.”

“Dinner?”

“Yes. I figured it’s time for me to haul ass and leave this place for a while, and I’m also sick of eating pizzas from Brooklyn.” She said, making a disgusted place.

“Fine. I’ll pick up the dress after I’m done here and I’ll go home.” 

“Excellent!” She said before ending the call and grabbing Dan’s laptop, going to Bergdorf’s website to look at their dresses from Alaia. After searching for 10 minutes, she finally picked a yellow dress from Alaia and got two more from Givenchy and even got shoes from Prada. She texted Dan, saying she also got shoes and made sure that he also picks them up. She placed her phone down and closed Dan’s laptop. Then, there was another ping on her phone, she checked it, thinking it was Dan but it was Chuck. She rolled her eyes and decided to block him for now. Hours passed by, Blair just watched some of Dan’s movies and even fell asleep on the couch. Dan got home at around 2pm and saw Blair on the couch, curled up like a child while Gone with the Wind is playing on the DVD. He smiled at the sight of her and set down the bags from Bergdorf’s on top of the kitchen counter. He went over the couch and crotched down next to Blair and moved a strand of her hair that was covering her face.

“Blair.” He spoke quietly, trying not to startle her. 

She hummed, still asleep.

“Blair, wake up.” He said, a little louder this time. Blair slowly opened her eyes and groaned when she saw Dan in front of her.

“What?”

“I got your dresses and shoes.” He said, pointing at the shopping bags. This statement immediately perked Blair up, sitting up quickly and rushing to the Bergdorf shopping bags. She pulled out the first dress and squealed, “Finally, new clothes!”

Dan chuckled at her excitement and sat down on the couch while Blair took out her shoes to try them on, “So, where do you wanna go for dinner?” He asked.

“Gramercy Tavern.” She answered without looking up from her new shoes.

“Gramercy Tavern?”

She finally looks at him, “Yes. Now, you better put on a suit for later.” She said, taking her new clothes and walking into Dan’s room to try it on. She closed the door and laid her three new dresses on the bed. She got a yellow dress from Alaia, a yellow and green one from Givenchy. Good thing the shoes she got from Prada was black so it was easy to pair it up with the dresses she got. She tried all of the dresses on, making sure it fit her well and she decided to wear the yellow one for tonight. Blair’s just glad that she’s finally wearing couture again and not one of Dan Humphrey’s clothes, even though she hates to admit it and probably will never admit this to anyone except God, that his clothes are actually really comfortable and she loves wearing them when she sleeps. She already put on her outfit for tonight and put on some makeup she had in her purse when they went to Nate’s party, she also fixed her hair before looking at herself in the mirror. She looks like herself again. For some reason, her eyes glanced at the missing diamond ring on her ring finger, it feels weird like something is missing from her. 

“You look beautiful.” Dan suddenly says, she must’ve not noticed him come in.

She locked her eyes with him in the mirror and smiled, “Thank you,” and turned around to face him, letting out a huge breath, “Wish I could say the same. Please put on some clothes that you didn’t buy on Hudson.” She said, walking towards him.

Dan laughed, “Alright. I’ll just change for a bit.”

Blair gave him a nod and grabbed her Chanel purse before leaving Dan’s room and heading to the kitchen. She waited for Dan to get changed and he comes out less than 10 minutes later and Blair wants to roll her eyes at how fast he got ready. He’s wearing a white polo shirt with a matching gray blazer and pants. “Well?” He says with a smirk on his, turning around to showcase Blair what he’s wearing. 

Blair raised an eyebrow, “I must say, Humphrey, you dress up real nice.” She said.

Dan chuckled and moved towards Blair and she could smell his cologne on him. If she’s correct, he’s wearing Bleu De Chanel perfume which was a gift from Blair a few years ago when she decided she had enough smelling Axe body spray whenever they’re together. 

“Got it from you.” He winks at Blair, who tried to disguise her blush by rolling her eyes at him.

“Let’s go, I wanna go to Lauduree first.” Blair said, hopping off from the stool and grabbed her coat

Dan nods and grabs the keys before opening the door for Blair and waiting for her to get out first. He closed the door behind them and as they got out of the apartment, Dan immediately called for a taxi cab and told the driver where they’re heading while on the way to their destination, Dan asked, “Why do you suddenly want to go out? I mean, it’s okay for you to go out but why so sudden?” He was rambling.

Blair sighed loudly, “I figured it was time to haul my ass out from Brooklyn and enjoy the luxury from the Upper East Side again.” She stated.

“You’re not gonna see Chuck?” There was a hint of hesitation in Dan’s voice, like he wasn’t sure if it was okay to ask her that question.

“No.” She said, not meeting Dan’s eyes. 

When they arrived at the Laduree, thankfully there was no line and only a few people inside. They got in and Blair’s nose was immediately filled with the scent of fresh macaroons and she sighed with a smile on her face, feeling like she hasn’t been in this store for years. She took a look at their variety of macaroons with Dan trailing behind her before deciding to get the assorted box. When it was handed to her, she paid and faced Dan, “You’re not getting anything?”

“No.” Dan said.

“Have you ever tried a macaroon?”

“Blair, I’m from Brooklyn not from the mountains.” He said making Blair roll her eyes and turned her back on Dan to face the counter, “Can I have one more please? I’d like the Coffee macaroon, thank you.” She said. The man handed it to her and she paid again. She turned back to Dan and held the macaroon near his lips, “Try it,” She said.

Dan looked at her suspiciously and unsure if he should take a bite.

“I’m not gonna poison you, Dan,” She said, urging him to eat the macaroon. Dan took a bite of the macaroon that Blair was still holding while maintaining eye contact with her. “It’s good, right?” She asked after he pulled away and chewed the Coffee macaroon. He nodded in response, still couldn’t believe what just happened. Blair finally handed the macaroon to him so he can eat it by himself, “Come on, we’re gonna be late for our reservations.” They got out of the store and started walking to the direction of Gramercy Tavern’s.

“We have reservations?” Dan asked, still eating his macaroon.

Blair gave her a look,”Do you even know me at all, Humphrey?” 

Dan laughed at her and finished his dessert and proceeded to have a small talk which Blair’s saying of her just judging every person’s piece of clothing as they walked past them. When they arrived at the restaurant, Dan silently thanked the Gods above for making him bring this fine piece of suit he is wearing right now because of the way people are dressed. It’s like Gatsby’s holding a party here.

“Name?” The lady in front says.

“Waldorf. For two.” She answered.

The lady nodded, “Right this way,” She led them to an area near the back and handed them the menu before walking away

“Waldorf, huh?” Dan said, opening his menu.

“Well, I’m certain that I do not want to be a Bass right now.” She said, looking over the menu. 

Their waitress came after a few moments with two glasses of water and they both gave out their orders and the wine they wanted. She told them it’ll be out in fifteen minutes before leaving them alone again and Dan can’t help but look at Blair. There was a candle in the middle of them and the restaurant’s lighting was dim but Dan can see the light from the candle illuminate Blair’s facial features. Blair’s right hand was resting on top of the table as she drank her water and Dan wanted nothing more than to grab that hand and lace their fingers together. He thought about how this is pretty much like the date they had before except Dan couldn’t just hold her just like that. Their waitress came back holding two wine glasses and the wine they ordered after placing the glasses down in front of them and poured the wine, they both gave their thanks before the waitress headed off again.

“Well, Humphrey, I’d like to say a toast.” Blair said.

“A toast?” 

“A toast for you for saving the damsel in distress once again.” She said, raising her wine glass.

“You’re not a damsel in distress, Blair.” He said but nonetheless, raising his glass as well.

Blair shrugged and placed the rim of the wine glass on her lips, “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t save me.” She admitted, looking into his eyes and taking a sip of her wine.

That night, Dan Humphrey’s hope came back.


	4. step into the daylight

Serena watched in disbelief as she saw Blair practically feeding Dan a macaroon inside Laduree, she quickly took a picture of the two and walked away in front of the store before the two saw her. She opened her messages and searched for Chuck’s name, attaching the photo of Dan and Blair with a text that says: I know where Blair is staying. Before hitting send. She looked at the photo again, the reason she came back from Los Angeles because she found out from Gossip Girl that Dan had finally returned to the city and she wants to tell him how she really feels about him and wants to suggest that they should try again but she might lose him again to her own best friend for the second time. 

Dan was awoken by the loud banging on the door, he looked at the clock from his phone and it’s not even eight in the morning. Blair was still sleeping soundly next to him, she still insisted that he sleeps next to her because she still gets nightmares. Dan also liked the fact that when Blair didn’t buy any pajamas when she sent him to Bergdorf’s so now, she’s still wearing one of Dan’s shirts to sleep. Dan got out of the bed and went to the door to open it, revealing Chuck Bass.

“Humphrey.” Chuck said.

“Chuck, what’re you doing here?” He said, not fully opening the door.

“Word around the streets is that you were seen with my wife.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dan said.

“Oh, you don’t? Well, let me help.” He said, showing Dan his phone where there’s a picture of him and Blair at the Laduree while Blair’s feeding him the macaroon.

Dan didn’t know what else to say, “Well?” Chuck asked once again.

“Dan, what’s going on?” A soft voice spoke from inside the house which Chuck immediately recognized and pushed Dan out of his way before he could close the door. 

“Blair.” Chuck said, seeing Blair who looks like she just woke up, hair still in places and wearing Dan Humphrey’s clothes.

“What are you doing here?” Blair said, refusing to move closer to Chuck. 

“I came here to get you.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you, Chuck.” Blair said.

“Blair,”

“No! You cheated on me! I caught you with Eva on our bed!” She emphasized the word ‘our’ as she pointed her finger at him and Chuck quickly noticed the lack of ring on her finger. 

“I see you’ve already taken off the ring.” Chuck said.

Blair lowered her hand after Chuck said this, “Chuck, I don’t want to see you right now. Please, just get out of here.” Blair said, struggling not to cry.

“No, I’m not going anywhere without you.”

“Chuck, she said go.” Dan spoke up.

Chuck glared at him, “So, you can take her away from me again?” 

“Chuck, please.” Blair said, getting Chuck’s attention again.

“Why are you even staying here, Blair and even wearing Dan’s clothes? Please come home with me.” He said, moving closer to grab both of Blair’s hands. 

Blair shook her head and looked down, crying already. “Blair, I’m sorry,” He says, letting go of her other hand to grab Blair’s chin to make her look at him. “Eva got me drunk and the next thing I knew I was in our bed with her. I don’t love her, Blair. I only love you.” Blair can hear the desperation in Chuck’s voice. 

“I, I need some time to think.” Blair said. 

Chuck seemed to understand now, he nodded and let go of Blair’s hand, “I understand. You know where to find me.” He said before finally turning around and leaving the loft but not before he glared at Dan that Dan knew if looks could kill, he’d probably be on the way to heaven right now. As Chuck closed the door, Blair immediately broke into tears and Dan quickly walked up to her and held her tight, “You’re okay, you’re okay. You’re gonna be okay.” Dan whispered repeatedly into her ear as Blair continued to sob on to his chest. 

“How did he even find me?” She pulled her face away from Dan’s chest but he’s still holding her. 

“Gossip Girl has eyes everywhere.” Dan said.

Blair groaned, she didn’t even think about Gossip Girl when she decided to go back to UES. Her mind was filled with Chuck and what’s she going to do with her second failed marriage, she forgot about the fact that she can never have privacy as long as Gossip Girl is around. She rests her head again in his chest which made him pull Blair closer. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” She mumbled.

Dan sighed, letting his fingers comb Blair’s wavy hair, “You need to start thinking if you’re going to forgive Chuck or not.” He states.

“Well, I forgave him for trading me for a hotel. I guess I can forgive him about this too.” She said, quietly.

Dan pulled away from her, making Blair look at him confusedly, “Are you serious? Do you hear yourself right now, Blair?” He said.

“I, I don’t know, okay! But it’s Chuck! I love him and I know he loves me, he just.. He just made a mistake.” 

“Blair, you and Chuck are not just dating anymore. You’re married to him and what he did to you is unforgivable.” He said.

“And you’re right! I am married to him which means I vowed to be with him and love him no matter what.” She said. 

“That means when he’s broke or when he’s dying of sickness!” Dan said.

“You have no right to tell me what I can or can’t do, you’re just my friend, Humphrey.” She spat out then stormed inside Dan’s room and slammed the door behind her as loud as she could. Dan groaned out, almost pulling his hair out in frustration and marched his way in front of his door.

“Blair?” He said.

No answer.

“Blair.” He said more loudly this time.

“Go away!” Blair said, face buried on a pillow. 

“No, I’m.. I’m sorry,” Dan said. “I’m sorry for going against you, I know I promised you that I’ll always be here for you and I meant that, Blair. I just.. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” There was a long silence and Dan thought Blair was still ignoring him when Blair opened the door. They both stared at each other for a while before Blair went straight into Dan’s arms again. Dan kissed Blair’s head and whispered, “I’m sorry.” to which Blair only responded by nodding and hugging him tighter. 

When Blair calmed down, she decided she needed time alone to think so she went in the shower instead. Dan prepared breakfast for them, making them pancakes this time since Blair said to him yesterday after making her waffles for breakfast, “Humphrey, I’m sick of waffles and I’ve literally lived here for only a week.” So, he decided to spice it up a little bit by creating pancakes and a side of blueberries and strawberries he picked out at the farmer’s market yesterday. He also toasted bread and spread jam on top and took out some orange juice as well. He placed all the food on their dining table this time and waited for Blair. She came out less than five minutes later wearing a bathrobe, which had Dan bought for her. 

Before making her way into the room to change, she stopped her tracks and faced Dan, “Dan?”

Dan looked up from his phone, “Yeah?”

“Can we go to the Film Forum today?” She asked.

He nodded and smiled at her.

Blair changed quickly and she was wearing the NYU sweater again, she placed herself in front of Dan and started eating her pancakes quietly, not looking up anywhere but her food. She popped a blueberry in her mouth and looked up to Dan, “Serena was the one who told Chuck where I was.”

Dan looked up from his food, “How’d you know?”

“She came yesterday when you were with Rufus.” 

“What? Why did she come?”

Blair shrugged, “Probably looking for you.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, Humphrey. She was surprised when she saw me.” Blair chuckled at the last part.

“Blair, I think anyone would be surprised if they knew you’ve been living with me for the past week.”

She ignored his point. “I think she’s the one who told Chuck about where I am.” She said, stabbing the sliced pancake with her fork. Dan raised an eyebrow at her, “I don’t think so. Chuck showed me the picture of us at the Laduree, could’ve been anyone. Probably even from Gossip Girl.” He said. 

“But that’s the thing, I checked Gossip Girl earlier and it wasn’t even posted there.” 

“Maybe Chuck hired a private investigator?” 

“Okay, now you’re being ridiculous. I’m his wife, why would he hire a PI for me?”

Dan gave her a look, you know why. Blair rolled her eyes and muttered, “Fine.” before resuming eating her breakfast. At around 3pm, Dan and Blair went to the Film Forum to catch a new french movie. Blair still wasn’t feeling herself and was mostly quiet during the whole car ride, whenever Dan asks her something she just nods and gives him a weak smile. Dan bought their tickets and popcorn, “So, are we still doing that two seat apart rule?”

“No, you can sit next to me.” Blair said.

Throughout the movie, Dan cannot concentrate, his eyes keep drifting to his side to look at Blair. She’s watching the movie intently or just zoning out to think about her problems about her marriage, either way Dan can’t really tell anymore. He leaned his head farther on the seat, trying to keep his eyes on the screen but his mind started drifting, of all the things he did to Blair a few years ago. Sleeping with Serena while they were practically still together, publishing that article about her and Chuck, and overall not being a good person and friend to her. Then he thought about Blair and Chuck’s wedding and how he watched Blair get married the second time but this time with the love of her life and Dan can’t take her away from it anymore. He remembered how happy she looked at that time, how it seemed like all her dreams came true and became the perfect reality. When Dan saw the glimmer in her eyes as Chuck said his vow, he knew every last piece of hope he’s still holding on to was gone. Then, coming back home and packing his things and telling his Dad that he just wants to visit Jenny for a while and that ‘for a while’ turned into months which turned into a year, avoiding every possibility of going back to the city because that city reminds him of Blair. 

The movie ended quickly since it was only an hour. Blair suggested that they should go home because she feels tired already and Dan couldn’t agree more. The ride home was even quieter than the first one and even Blair noticed it. She can see Dan’s leg bouncing and continuously looking around everywhere but like he’s not even looking for anything. When they got out of the cab and went into the apartment, Blair took off her coat and placed it on the counter.

“Are you okay?” Blair said with a puzzled look in her face.

“I’m sorry,” Dan blurted out causing her to raise an eyebrow at him.

“I’m sorry for everything that I have ever done to you when we broke up, the sextape, the article, for nothing being a good friend--everything!” 

Blair looked at him for a while before surging to him, grabbing the collar of his shirt and kissing him on the lips while Dan stood there, shocked and not doing anything. She slowly pulls away when she realizes that Dan’s not kissing him back. Dan felt like he hasn’t blinked in the last 30 seconds and he can see the embarrassment on Blair’s face, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She said. Dan couldn’t speak, it’s like his mind is still processing the fact that Blair Waldorf kissed him again. 

“I-it’s okay.” He stuttered, blinking way too fast now.

“I’m just,” Blair said with a hand on her forehead, suddenly feeling dizzy. “I’m just gonna go to sleep. Goodnight.” She said, before almost speed walking to get away from Dan. She entered the bedroom and slammed the door a little too hard making Dan flinch and snap out from his daze.

And that’s when he realized what he just did.


	5. this love is good, this love is bad

Dan came to The Spectator first thing in the morning while Blair was still asleep, he just sent her a text saying that he’s gone out to meet up with Nate and it’s already nine o’clock and Blair still hasn’t responded which either means that Blair is still asleep or she’s ignoring him because of what happened last night. Dan stepped into Nate’s office, holding to cups of coffee. Nate was sitting behind the desk, reading something on the paper when he saw Dan and raised an eyebrow at him as Dan hands him the coffee

“I’m assuming you want something.” Nate stated.

“Can’t I just get my friend a coffee?” Dan answered, sitting on the chair in front of Nate’s table. 

“Well, why are you here? I’m pretty sure not to get my friend Nicola’s number because she told me of how that turned out.” He chuckled.

Dan rolled his eyes at him and took a drink of his coffee, “Oh please. We have nothing in common.”

“She’s a writer too, Dan.” 

“Yeah, well..” Dan just shrugged and continued drinking his coffee before standing up and grabbing a bottle of whiskey in Nate’s mini bar at his office. He opened the bottle and spiked his coffee with it before closing it and putting it back where it belongs. He made his way back into the chair and drank his coffee again. Nate, watching this whole thing unfolds in front of him at nine o’clock in the morning with an amused expression on his face. 

“Rough night?” Nate jokes.

“You have no idea.” 

“Man, what’s going on with you? You’ve been here for like, what, a week or so? And you’re already drinking coffee with whiskey in my office.”

Dan sighed, looking at the room’s ceiling and closing his eyes, “Blair’s been staying at my loft with me ever since I came back.”

“So, I’ve heard,” Nate said. Dan thought Chuck probably told him about it. “Everything okay?” He asked, suddenly becoming serious. 

Dan groaned, “No. Blair kissed me last night.” He answered, muttering the last part, hoping Nate didn’t hear it.

Nate widens his eyes, “What?” 

Dan just nodded and drank more of his coffee.

“Did something happen?”

“No! I didn’t even kiss her back, I just stood there looking like a total idiot. She probably thinks that I don’t even like her.” Dan slumped on his seat.

“Well, you’re not supposed to. I mean, come on, Dan, she’s still married to Chuck.”

Dan knows this. Of course, he knows this. That untouched diamond ring on the island countertop in his kitchen is a constant reminder that one day, Blair will forgive Chuck and put on that ring again, just like what she always does. “I know, that’s why I didn’t kiss her back.” He mumbled, standing up and grabbing the whiskey bottle to pour more on his drink. “Do you still love her?” Nate said. Dan stopped pouring on his cup and looked at Nate, “Who said I stopped?” He said.

Nate sighed and looked down at his fingers, Dan already felt like a child waiting for his mother to give him a lecture for rolling around the grass but he didn’t say anything, instead he just went up to Dan and grabbed a glass and poured himself some whiskey. Nate slightly raised the glass and Dan did the same and they both drank it at the same time.

“I know how you feel,” Nate said and Dan raised an eyebrow at him.

“Serena.” Nate continued.

“Ah, well, the difference between you and me, my friend, is that Serena isn’t married.” Dan points out.

“Do you know why she came back?” Nate asked and Dan shook his head.

“Because you came back.” 

Dan finally realized why Serena came to the loft the day before, not because she miraculously found out where Blair ran off to, but she was supposed to see him. Dan stayed much longer in Nate's office, not because they were actually talking about something but because Dan accidentally fell asleep on his office couch. He wasn’t able to get any sleep last night, considering all he did last night was think about if it was appropriate to wake Blair up and tell her that she doesn’t need to be sorry about anything because he wants to kiss her again. The last thing he saw was Nate drunkenly laughing at him before his eyes shutting off. 

Blair woke up as soon as Dan left the loft, she saw his text but refused to text back. Her mind is still replaying the events of last night and all she wants to do is never get out of this bed and this room forever. She didn’t even get up when she heard the front door open and closed, thinking it was just Dan returning home. She only snuggled closer to the pillow she’s hugging. 

“Dan?” Blair heard a familiar muffled voice, making her sit up.

“Dan, are you home?” 

Blair wants to groan and slap Dan Humphrey’s face for not locking the door and now, she has to deal with this. “Dan?” Blair can hear footsteps walking around the loft. Blair groaned quietly to herself before getting out of the bed and opening to the bedroom door. The back of her blonde best friend was facing her and she looked like she was texting someone on the phone, Blair closed the door to make herself be heard and made Serena turn around with a huge smile on her face only to slowly falter when she saw it was Blair. “Blair, what are you doing here?” She asked, trying to hide the disappointment on her face. “I told you, I’ve been staying here for a while.” Blair said, moving towards her. 

“I thought you went back home with Chuck.” Serena said.

“I didn’t want to.” Blair answers, flatly.

“Why not?”

“Because she cheated on me, Serena.” Her voice slightly raised from her previous tone. 

“Blair, you two can work this out. You two are Chuck and Blair.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want there to be a Chuck and Blair anymore.” Blair said, truthfully.

Serena stayed silent at Blair’s statement but she couldn’t blame her, after all those years of working themselves to be better, ruining each other’s relationship because they couldn’t live to see that the other one can be happy without one of them, and creating a pact that will make sure that they end up together only to be ruined by a somewhat drunken one night stand. After a moment, she speaks, “Then, what do you want?”  
Blair shrugged, “I just want to be myself again.” 

Serena went over to her to hug Blair tight, “I know everything’s difficult right now but you’re gonna be okay.” She said. Blair nodded hugging Serena back. 

“Can you tell Dan that I dropped by? Nate’s asking me to meet him up for brunch.” Serena said.

“Of course.” Serena kissed Blair’s cheek goodbye before strutting out of the loft. 

Blair checked her phone and it’s already 10:30am, her inbox was empty except for Dan’s message to her earlier but it seems like even Chuck hasn’t tried calling her from another phone. She sat on the couch, pulling Dan’s blanket from last night to her lap and thought about what she did again last night. It was stupid and impulsive, even though Chuck cheated on her first that doesn’t give her the right to start kissing random guys but Dan’s not just a random guy. He’s Dan Humphrey. The Lonely Boy. When they were still in high school, Dan was just some guy on her last nerve. Then, they started hanging out together in secret, watching movies together and pretending they don’t enjoy it. Blair thought about the time Dan kissed her for the first time, to make sure that nothing was going on between them and when she kissed Dan Humphrey back, it was weird but it was different. It was different from Nate or Chuck. Nate used to kiss her softly like she’s a porcelain doll who’s gonna break if he kissed her hard enough and Chuck was rough, aggressive and there was passion in it but with Dan, it wasn’t like kissing your own brother like what she told Serena, it was like kissing the person you’ve been looking for so long and the kiss made you realize that the person was just right there. Blair was just too afraid to admit it herself, she was just too afraid that there’s a possibility that there’s a guy other there for her other than Chuck. Then that night when Blair came to his loft to tell him how she feels about him and the way he grabbed her cheek and kissed her, as she moaned out his name, she didn’t felt any sparks or electricity like what she reads in her books, she felt like she wants to kiss this person everyday for the rest of her life. 

Now, she needs a drink. Badly. She got up the couch and walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge and any other cabinets where Rufus might’ve stowed a wine or even a beer. She groaned when she realized she checked every cabinet and saw there wasn’t a single alcoholic beverage in here. Blair pursued her lips, thinking if it’s a good idea to drink when it’s not even afternoon yet. She suddenly got an idea and rushed into Dan’s bedroom, she checked the inside of his bedside drawer and there it was, the champagne she accidentally left. She checked the date, hopefully not expired yet. Blair grabbed the bottle and took it with her back in the kitchen where she had founded champagne glasses. She poured herself more than she intended to drink. Later on, with five glasses in, she’s already sitting on the kitchen floor, feeling more of a low life than ever. She’s holding the glasses in one hand and a half eaten toasted bread on the other when she hears the door open. Her head stayed still, leaning on the wall but her eyes watched as Dan got in the loft. He looked at her state with an amused expression on his face and moved towards her, sitting on the floor in front of her as well. 

“You looked like you’re having a great time.” Dan said, sarcastically making Blair roll her eyes but a hint of smile on her face.

“And you smelled like you had a good time.” Blair quipped, trying to block her nose of Dan’s whiskey breath by drinking more of her champagne.

‘Okay, that’s enough.” He took the glass away from her, earning a ‘Hey!’ from Blair. He drank the rest of the champagne on the glass before setting it aside. Blair was watching Dan, making him look at her too. “I’m sorry about last night.” Dan spoke.

“No, no, it’s okay. It was my fault, I didn’t know what came to me.” Blair said.

Dan nodded understandingly at her and they both dropped the topic after that with silence overcoming the both of them. They were both staring at each but it wasn’t awkward, it was like they couldn’t look away from each other, Dan wasn’t even sure if he was still blinking but the next thing he knew was Blair Waldorf was seated on his lap while their lips crashed with one another, this time Dan knew he was kissing back with his tongue dipping in her mouth, tasting every last drop of champagne.

He pulled away first, trying to catch a breath, “Are you sure?” He asked. 

Blair nodded, licking her lips, “Very.” She answered, grabbing the back of his hair to pull him back to her again. 

He gripped on her thighs, trying to stand up to carry her and take her to the bedroom while her hands immediately went up to his hair. Blindly standing up, he was trying to find his way to the bedroom when Blair must’ve realized that he’s going to bump into something and possibly drop her, she pulled away from him and went down on his neck instead while Dan hurriedly carried her to the bedroom. He gently dropped her on the bed before resuming to kiss her while he crawls on top of her, he can feel Blair tugging on his shirt to take it off which he immediately complied but also unbuttoned Blair’s plaid pajama shirt and she’s already glad that she hasn’t worn a bra yet (courtesy of Dan Humphrey, of course) She found her mouth against his again as she’s trying to take off her shorts with Dan doing the same with his pants along with his boxers but having to pull away making Blair whine lightly. He began trailing his kisses on her body from her neck until to her navel, he pressed a finger on her area, feeling how wet she was already. He tugged her panties down and threw it over his shoulder, landing somewhere along with their discarded clothes.

“Hey, that’s La Perla.” Blair breathed out, ready to complain some more but unexpectedly stopped when she felt Dan’s wet mouth on her slit, making her cry out. Her hand reached out to pull his hair, grabbing it tightly. His hands were both placed on the side of her thighs when he took one off and slowly inserted one finger, as he continued to eat her out. Then, he added another one, his pace getting quicker. Blair felt like she was on cloud nine already, she forgot how Dan’s good with his mouth and fingers. “More.” She moaned out. 

Dan heard her for the first time and he’s not going to make her wait, he took out both of his fingers and crawled up back to Blair, dipping down to kiss Blair. His hand blindly opened the side of his bedside table and rummaged until he felt the condom. As he’s about to enter her, she stops him, placing a hand on his chest, “What? Are you okay?” He asked.

“I wanna be on top.” She said and before Dan could answer, Blair flipped them already. Dan watches her wrap her fingers around his length and positions herself, slowly sinking onto him, “Fuck.” She hisses. She waits for a while to adjust herself properly before slowly rocking herself.

“Fuck, you’re tight.” Dan moaned out, grabbing his waist with his one hand to steady her and the other one cups her breast, thumbing her nipple. She planted her palm on his chest then started fastening her pace. There were strings of moans and grunts coming from the both of them, Blair can feel her thighs getting tired making her slow down which Dan immediately picks it up, placing both of his hands on her waist now and thrusting up to her, aiming at her spot and by the sound coming out of Blair’s mouth, Dan thinks he found it. 

“I’m gonna come,” She breathed out as Dan hit her spot repeatedly and faster. “Dan.” She breathed out as she came and with the sound of what Blair just made, Dan came inside of her too. As tiredness immediately overcame both of them, Blair slowly removed herself from him, wincing at her soreness and plopped herself next to Dan. He removed the condom, tying it and threw it in the trash can near his bed and when he settled back down, Blair moved her head and placed a hand on his chest and Dan instinctively wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close and kissing her forehead. 

None of them spoke for a while to the point that Dan thought Blair fell asleep as he watched his ceiling but then he felt her finger dance around his chest, making it walk until it reached his bottom jaw and gently pushing the side of his head to face her so she could kiss him, Dan kissed back, their mouths slowly moving it together as if they have the whole time in the world. Blair pulled back but not far enough as she slowly traced her pointer finger on his face, like she’s drawing him.

“Have I ever told you that you have nice cheekbones?” She says, tracing her finger on his cheekbone.

“I don’t believe you’ve mentioned it.” He quietly says, looking intently into her eyes as hers wanders off to different parts of his facial features. He pressed a light kiss on it when she reached his lips, making Blair blush a little bit. “Well, you do and you also have a nice jawline.” She points out.

Dan hummed, closing more, “Yes, compliment me more. Love it when you fuel my ego.” 

Blair giggled, “I also like your hair.” She said.

“I thought you don’t like my hair?” He’s been growing out his hair like before and he remembers how much Blair pestered him about getting a haircut even when they were dating. She said it makes him look like a hobo.

“And if you tell anyone that, I’ll make sure to say you’re lying.” She answers with a grin on her face. Dan chuckled, placing a hand on her naked back and tracing down to her spine, making Blair shiver a bit. He leaned closer to her and pressed a kiss on her lips again, at this point, he’s pretty sure he can’t get enough of it. He’s addicted to the taste of her. “Do you want something to eat?” Dan mumbled as he pressed light kisses to her neck. She hummed in response, tilting her head further to the pillow to give him more access. “What do you want?” He asked, face buried on her neck. Her fingers tangled on the curls of his hair, “I don’t know, make me something.” She breathed out. Dan gave her neck one last kiss before pulling away from her and getting up from the bed, he put on his boxers and pants when he noticed Blair was staring at him, eyes were squinted from the light that was shining on her face coming from the window while her naked body was covered by Dan’s duvet and God, Dan could look at her all day. Blair was already flustered by his look, grabbing a pillow next to her and aimed it on Dan’s face. 

“Stop staring at me and get food!” She complained, making Dan splutter a laugh. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He said, leaving the room to go to the kitchen and prepare a brunch for her.

He made her waffles (once again) with some of her favorite fruits on the side and a glass of orange juice and water. He placed it nicely on a wooden tray his Dad brought a few years ago, thinking they’ll actually need it. Dan carefully walked back to the bedroom and saw Blair already sitting up wearing her robe now, scrolling through her phone with a concerned expression plastered on her face. When she realizes he’s back with her brunch, her face brightens up and turns off her phone, setting on the bedside. 

“Took you long enough.” She said as Dan placed the tray on the bed next to her. Her hand first reached the fruits then grabbed the silver fork, stabbing through the sliced waffle. Dan watched her take the glass of orange juice and drank it slowly, her eyes narrowed at him when she caught him staring as she gulped down on her drink. 

The rest of their day was spent in Dan’s bed, both of them only getting up whenever they have to go to the bathroom. Blair wasn’t used to this, she’s always up and ready and loves to do something for the day but when she’s laying with Dan, sometimes she wishes that time stops when she’s with him. Sounds cliche but she’s already thinking of giving up everything for this. That thought snapped something out of Blair, eyes widening by what her mind just thought of. She glanced at Dan, who was reading The Awakening while he’s playing with her hair and Blair suddenly felt her heart beating like crazy as she looked at him. She tore her eyes off of him and looked at the edge of the bed, trying to look at something other than him. Blair Waldorf had planned half of her life even before she started high school, of course, some didn’t happen like getting into Yale or marrying Nate Archibald. Her plan was still the same only she went to a different college and married Chuck Bass instead, she thought she was sure of Chuck. She can love him until she feels like she can't breathe anymore, there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for the great love Chuck Bass has given her. It’s what Blair wanted, to end up with Chuck because she couldn’t see herself with anyone other than him and that’s just the way it is. Blair looked up at Dan again but this time he looked back at her, giving her a grin and kissing her forehead, his arm pulling her closer to his side. 

And all Blair could do right there was to close her eyes and think maybe she was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all of your lovely comments about my fic, i really appreciate it!! you guys are the reason why i want to continue and improv my writing. ilysm!!! <3


	6. saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW// abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooo!! sorry if it's been a while since the last update but thank you for everyone's kind and lovely messages, you guys really know how to make my day <3

When Dan woke up, he was afraid. Plenty of things happened yesterday that can lead to regret and possibly a certain girl finally realizing the truth and leaving him for good to go back to her husband. Dan knew he was selfish, probably the most selfish bastard on this planet right now. Wanting a married woman he knows he can’t keep forever. Ever since Blair started staying at the loft, there’s been a voice on the back of his head, saying this is a mistake and this might be a repeat of the Prince Louis accident. Dan was scared of her, scared of how much she can ruin him again only to leave him for Chuck and the fact is that he’ll let her ruin him for a million times if that’s what it takes to be with her. He turned to Blair who was still sleeping, mouth slightly parted and light snores coming out of her. He gently stroked the soft skin of cheek which made her stir, her eyes slowly blinking for her eyes to adjust from the bright light. 

“Hi.” Dan said, quietly that only she can hear him.

Her eyes opened and gave him a lazy smile, “Hi,” He pressed a soft kiss on her nose, making Blair hum and lean closer to him, giving a quick peck on his lips and cuddling closer to him. 

“What’re you gonna do today?” She asked.

“My Dad wants me to meet up with him for brunch, said he needs something to tell me,” Dan said, “Are you gonna be okay here while I’m gone?” He asked.

Blair nodded, pulling herself up to sit up, “I need to do some shopping anyways.”

Dan raised an eyebrow at her, “You sure you're gonna be okay walking around Upper East Side alone?” 

She rolled her eyes, “It’s not like I’m gonna walk around in Brooklyn, Dan.” She said, removing the duvet off of her and grabbing her robe that was laid down on the chair near the bed. “I’m gonna take a shower.” She announced, leaning back to him to give him a kiss and walking out of the room.

“Can I join?” Dan asked but Blair was already out.

He still joined. 

They spent at least 30 minutes in the shower not because of a spontaneous shower sex but because of Blair lecturing Dan about how he shouldn’t use a shampoo that says Shampoo and Conditioner in one bottle. Dan waited for Blair to leave before he left the loft, he went to a breakfast joint that he and his Dad used to go to ever since. When he entered the building, he saw his Dad already waiting for him while reading the restaurant’s menu. “Hey Dad.” He said, sliding into the booth in front of him.

Rufus smiled at him, setting down the menu, “Hey Dan.”

“So, what’s up? What do you want to tell me?” He asked.

His Dad sighed, giving him that disappointed father’s look to him, “Heard about you and Blair.” 

“And?” 

“Why is she staying with you?”

“Blair caught Chuck cheating on her and she just needed a place to stay, that’s all.” Dan said, nonchalantly. Trying to make it seem that this isn’t a big deal. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” 

“Dad, I’m not gonna get hurt.” He answered without missing a beat.

Rufus looked at him like he’s trying to find an answer that was written on his face and when he doesn’t he said, “Dan, we both know that after you and Blair broke up, you weren’t the same. You changed. I know how hurt you were, she chose another man that wasn’t you, believe me I’ve been there but she’s married.”

“As if that stopped you and Lily.” Dan said.

He sighed, knowing Dan does have a point in this argument. Rufus dropped the conversation as soon as the waitress came over and asked for their orders. The rest of the time together was spent by Dan trying to dodge that conversation, whenever Rufus was about to say or ask something about Blair, Dan would immediately change the topic. While on the other side of the town, Blair Waldorf was seen in the streets of the Upper East Side once again, she was already holding three shopping bags all from Chanel and now, she’s on her way to Bergdorf Goodman’s. It’s the second week of December already and Blair loves Christmas but she absolutely despises shopping during the Christmas season. The store was packed, as if tomorrow’s Christmas already, she moved past the women who were crowding at the makeup section, she rolled her eyes at them, almost shoving past one girl who tried to block her way. She made her way to the escalator to go to the clothing section where there were less people. She sighs happily looking past all the pretty dresses in front of her, she starts making her way and scanning to whatever she can find. As she was about to grab a black dress, someone decided to bump on her shoulder, almost causing Blair to lose her balance if she wasn’t quick enough to hold on to the clothing rack. 

“Watch it!” She said, turning around to see who bumped into her.

“Oops. Sorry, Blair.” It was Eva, smirking at her.

Blair rolled her eyes and turned away from her, facing back to the dresses but Eva didn’t go anywhere, she just stood there, waiting for Blair to acknowledge her. She groaned quietly and faced her again, “What do you want, Eva? Wasn’t destroying my marriage enough so now, you’re just gonna breathe on my shoulder?” 

Eva gave her a sly smile, “I just want to know if you finally feel the way I felt.” She said.

“That was like 4 years ago, Eva!”

“Still doesn’t give you the right to destroy my relationship with Chuck. You just couldn’t handle that he’s capable of loving someone other than you.” Eva stated.

Blair doesn’t want to hear this. She doesn’t have any time for this. “So, you got Chuck drunk and have sex with him just so you can prove me this?” She said, snatching the black dress she was eyeing earlier off the clothing rack. “Well, he wasn’t drunk enough to do it twice,” She said, smiling sweetly at her. Eva watches through Blair’s expression how her world came crumbling down. Blair clutched on the hanger of the dress so tight she knew there was going to be a mark on her palm. “Bye, Blair.” She smiled again before walking away from her. Blair couldn’t move, she felt like her feet were suddenly glued on the ground. She wishes Eva was lying, she blinks away the tears from her eyes. She knew her marriage was over but the only thing she can’t stop thinking right now is she also slept with someone else while technically still married to Chuck. Maybe she did sleep with Dan just for comfort but at the same time, maybe she slept with him because she’s confused about the fact that she still has leftover feelings for Dan. She wiped the tears out of her face and shoved the dress back in the rack, immediately walking towards down to the escalator and out of the store before someone could see her. As soon as she got out, she hailed a cab and gave the man the address. 

The cab stopped in front of the townhouse, she paid the man and grabbed her shopping bags then exited the car, closing the door behind her. She looked up to the house in front of her, took a deep breath and walked in front of the door, she pulled the key out of her bag and slowly inserted it, turning it to the side. When she first entered, the first thing she noticed was the smell. It reeked of alcohol and possibly even weed, her nose scrunched up and walked towards the living area where she saw Chuck, a bottle of vodka on his hand and more alcoholic bottles strewn around him, he didn’t notice her come in as he’s eyes was closed, looking like he just passed out. Blair dropped the shopping bags on the ground with a thud startling Chuck and opening his eyes, widening when he saw Blair.

“Blair?” He said, sitting up properly.

She gave him a tight smile, “Chuck.”

“I’m so glad to see you. Are you finally coming home?” He asked with a hopeful smile on his face, standing up and running his fingers to his hair, trying to fix it. 

Blair shook her head, “I’m just here to get some clothes.” She said before walking past Chuck and going upstairs to their room. When Blair went in, it didn’t look like the room she slept in just weeks ago. The king sized bed was unmade, Chuck’s clothes were scattered around the room, and room reeks of scotch, Blair wondered if Dorota bothered to come back or Chuck just didn’t let her in. She made a beeline to their walk-in closet, grabbing one of her suitcase and piled the first clothes and shoes she saw. Blair heard Chuck’s footsteps behind her, making her speed up the process and just wanting to get out of here as fast as she can. 

“Are you really gonna leave me?” A broken voice from Blair’s behind asked.

She took a deep breath and continued to stuff her slips and lingeries in the closet, “I don’t know, Chuck. I need more time alone.” She said, shutting the suitcase and standing up with the suitcase on her hand.

“Does this ‘time alone’ include Humphrey?” He said, emphasizing Humphrey with a disgusted tone on his voice. “I’m gonna go,” She said, trying to walk past him again but he grabbed her wrist tightly before she could go anywhere. “Chuck, let me go.” 

“I know that look in your face. Guilt. You slept with him, didn’t you?” He drunkenly sneered at her.

“Chuck, I said let me go.” Blair said, trying to remove her arm from Chuck’s almost deathly grip.

“We’re both the same, Blair. We hurt each other but in the end, we’re always gonna be together. This is in our nature now,” He said, his face leaning closer to her to the point where Blair can smell the whiskey on his mouth. “I love you, Blair. What I did was a mistake and you obviously made the same mistake but it’s okay, because I forgive you.” He continued, speaking in his softest tone that Blair almost fell for it.

“Chuck, please stop.” Blair said.

“You’re mine, Blair and I’m yours. Forever.”

Blair will never admit it out loud but she’s scared of Chuck, especially when he’s drunk. Their friends think that Blair is the only one who can handle Chuck and his whirlwind of emotions but in reality, Blair is just as scared as the next person is. She knew that Chuck can be a violent person but he doesn’t mean that, it’s just the alcohol. That’s what she used to think. Blair knew Chuck can hurt her in many ways she can’t even imagine. 

“Please just let me go.” She’s almost begging at this point, her wrist is starting to hurt and she’s so close to crying but she doesn’t want him to see that. Chuck looked furious but he slowly loosen his grip to Blair’s wrist, giving her a chance to her wrist away. 

“You’ll come back to me, Blair. You always do.” He said, looking deep into her eyes. 

She shook her head, tears were threatening to fall from her eyes, “No, Chuck. I’m done, you fucking asshole.” She spat out.

The next thing she knew was a cold, hard hand slapped against her cheek. She looked at Chuck with disbelief on her face, can’t comprehend the fact that he could do that to her as her hand slowly reached to touch cheek. Chuck slowly realized what he had done, widening his eyes and began apologizing to Blair repeatedly but she started to slowly walk away backwards, keeping her eyes on him. Blair felt afraid at this moment, she knew Chuck was right. Despite everything Chuck did to her and what she did to Chuck, they always find a way back to each other, they have a magnetic field between that only pulls them closer together when they’re apart but now, all Blair wants to do is cut off the magnetic field with the sharpest scissor she has and never look back. “Goodbye, Chuck.” She said, leaving their bedroom and hurrying downstairs to get her shopping bags she left at the floor and walking out of their townhouse, slamming the door as hard as she can. As she was walking down the streets, she couldn’t help but think if it’s worth giving Chuck another chance, thinking that he once proved to her that he can change and she knows he can do it again for her. And she will do the same. She changed herself so much for Chuck and it’s for the better then her mind drifted to Dan, the only person who truly knows what kind of person she is under all the schemes, she didn’t have to change herself for Dan because he knows every bit of her and he loved them. He didn’t want her to change, he wanted her to show her true self and embrace it. 

Blair felt the cold breeze of New York City hit her bare face as she continued to walk down the street, already feeling tired of carrying her bags, she set it down for a while and looked around to her used-to-be-neighborhood, there weren't a lot of people around neither were any cars but she saw one couple, walking hand in hand at the street in front of her with big smiles on their faces as they look at each other with no care in the world, only at the person they’re with. She swallowed a lump in her throat, she used to look at Chuck like that, like he hung the stars and moon for her every night. She stood there, eyes following the couple not far away from her, taking a deep breath, she raises her arm to wave at the incoming taxi, wanting to just get away from this place already. The cab parked in front of her, she picked up her belongings before opening the door and getting in. “Where to?” The man at the driver seat said, looking at Blair through the mirror. 

“Brooklyn.” She proceeds to say Dan’s address before settling back and leaning on the taxi seat, watching buildings and trees as the car passes them by. She began thinking about everything that led up to this moment, her second downfall, her second failed marriage, she started thinking about her mom, how happy she was when she found out that Chuck and Blair were going to get married and be together. She remembered Chuck surprising her with the townhouse, for a fresh new start as a married couple. It felt like it was years ago when in fact it was just last year, two weeks after they got married, Blair felt a tear roll down her cheek but she quickly wiped it and started blinking repeatedly to avoid a breakdown.

As they were nearing their arrival in Dan’s apartment, Blair could immediately see the difference between the place she just got back from and to here, there were plenty of food stands, people wearing jeans with running shoes, and hipsters but for some reason, whenever Blair’s on her way to Dan’s, she always feel safe as if no one can ever hurt her anymore. It’s something she never felt when she’s with Chuck. Before she knew it, they had already arrived in front of the loft, the man turned his head around, waiting for Blair’s payment which she handed over along with a tip then got off the cab, along with her bags. When she arrived in front of the door, her hand reached for the doorknob and opened it, Dan was already home, reading a book by the island with a cup of coffee next to him. He looked up from his novel when he heard the door open, shutting his book and facing his whole body to Blair, who stood there in front of the door.

“Hey, going somewhere?” His lips formed a smile, noticing Blair’s luggage. 

Blair looking down at her feet, chuckling a bit, “Decided to extend my stay at the Humphrey hotel.” She said, placing the bags down on her side. Dan let out a small laugh, standing up to walk closer to her, “Well, you know, you’re always welcome to stay here as long as you want.” 

She looked up to him, smiling then wrapped her arms around his waist to hug him, her cheek pressing against his chest, “Thank you.” Blair mumbled. Dan, immediately wrapping his arms around her and burying his face on the top of her head. He knows that ‘thank you’ wasn’t just for his hospitality, he knows that there’s a much more deeper meaning behind it as he heard a crack on her voice when she said that. “I’m always here for you, Blair.” He muttered, pressing a light kiss on the top of her head. They stayed like that for a while, Blair not wanting to let go of Dan and Dan not wanting to let go of Blair. She wasn’t crying, she just needed him to hold her as long as he could. 

“Do you want to start unpacking?” Dan said after a moment.

She looked up to him with a small smile on her face, “Yeah.”

Dan grinned at her before kissing her forehead and letting her go, taking the luggage and the shopping bags, “Come on, I’ll show you the room.” He winks at Blair, making her laugh which was music to Dan’s ears.


	7. and i watch it begin again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW // mentions of abuse

When Dan had suggested unpacking with Blair, he thought Blair would help him and not just sit next to the luggage placed on top of the bed while Dan carefully took out her clothes and put it inside the drawer he saved for Blair’s clothes only. “So, do you want to talk about it?” Dan asks, folding one of her shirts neatly. It’s the way Dan can already read Blair like she’s his favorite book, he knows the moment she walked in the loft earlier something happened to her. Blair sighed, allowing herself to fall back from the bed and stare at the ceiling. “I ran into the french bitch earlier.” She mumbled. It took Dan a moment to realize that the french bitch Blair was referring to was Eva, his mouth forming an ‘o’, “Oh, what happened?” He said, finally done with her clothes, closing the luggage and setting it down on the floor so he can lay down next to Blair, copying her position. 

“She told me some.. things.” she trailed off.

“Like what?” 

“That Chuck might’ve not been as drunk as I thought he would.” 

“What do you mean?” Dan said, turning to Blair’s side to look at her.

“They slept twice.” Blair said, looking back at him.

Dan furrows his brows at her, “And you believe her?”

Blair sighs, “I don’t know, but that’s why I came to Chuck’s, only for me to forget about what I was going to ask him when I saw him again.” 

Dan blinks at her, “And?”

“He scares me, Dan. It’s like this isn’t the person I fell in love with,” Blair’s voice was so broken Dan thought she was going to cry again, her face filled with anger, hurt, and fear at the same time. It’s like she wants to cry again but she would prefer smashing a plate instead. “Did he hurt you?” Dan asked quietly, directly looking into her eyes.

“No, he just,” She looked away from his gaze. “He grabbed my arm, that’s all.” Dan was amazed at how she said it so nonchalantly and he’s afraid that this isn’t the first time this has happened to her. “Is that all?” Dan said.

“And um, he slapped me.” She answered, muttering the last part.

Dan sat up. “What?” He hopes he’s getting deaf because he couldn’t believe what he just heard.

“It was only once, Dan.” She spoke softly. He stood up and grabbed his jacket making Blair confused, sitting up, she asked, “Where are you going?” She watches Dan put on his jacket and make his way to the door.

“Dan!” She calls out.

Finally stopping and turning around, “I’m going to beat the shit out of him,” He said, making Blair smile and slightly giggle, she followed him and stood in front of him. He rolled his eyes, “What’s so funny?” He asked as Blair giggles louder, she stands on her tiptoes to press a chaste kiss on his lips. “I’d like to see you try, Humphrey.”

“Hey, I already did that once. I can do that again.” He defends himself, referring to that time he punched Chuck when he found out that he took Jenny’s virginity. He pulls Blair closer by grabbing the back of her waist and kissing her again, she pulls away her fingers playing the ends of his hair, “It’s not worth it, come on.” She said.

“I just don’t want him to hurt you again.” He said, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against hers. “I’m okay, I promise.” Blair reassures him. Dan stared at her for a while, searching for something deep in her eyes before slowly nodding, letting go of the door handle. Blair suggests going back to bed, telling him that she’s tired and she just wants to rest which Dan immediately complies with, as they’re laying down on the bed with Blair’s head on top of his chest while he slowly runs his fingers up and down on her back. 

“Blair?” Dan spoke after moments of silence to which Blair acknowledges with a hm. 

“Are you still going back to him?” He asked.

Blair didn’t respond immediately but Dan knows she’s awake, he can feel her heartbeat quickens as she continues to ignore his question. Dan was waiting for an answer he knew Blair wouldn’t answer. “He hurted you, Blair.” He said, looking in her eyes with a hint of desperation on his voice, wanting nothing but to protect her. 

“But Dan, he loves me.. for who I am.” Blair argued weakly.

No, he doesn’t. 

“Blair, there’s someone out there who can love you more than he ever will.” Dan said.  
Blair pulled away and sat up, looking down at him, “That’s not true. Chuck is the only person who accepts me, my scheming, and my evil, ugly, dark side.” She grimaced at the last part of her statement. In Blair’s mind, no person in their right mind would ever love Blair once they discovered her ‘dark side’, only Chuck because he has it too and he accepts her. It’s one of the main things Blair fell in love with him too. Dan stared at her, face filled with disappointment and guilt because someone like Blair has to go through to a person like Chuck Bass.

“I accept you.” Dan said, sitting up to look at her properly. 

Blair swallowed a lump on her throat, suddenly feeling hot and nervous, “You’re just saying that.” She muttered out, toying with the end of the pillow, looking anywhere but him. 

“No, I’m not.”

When he said that, Blair looked like she realized something, her eyes widening but immediately composing herself. Dan believes he has the worst timing of all, ever since then especially when it comes to Blair. He’s feeling a bit deja vu right now, thinking about the time when this happened to him and Blair when she’s getting married to the prince. It’s like Dan’s her safety net at this point, the person she runs away to and be with but leaves the moment everything gets better for her. Dan likes to push back the thought that he was never Blair’s first choice in anything, always the second or the third but for him, he would choose her in a heartbeat, in a million times, and even when she doesn’t choose him. Dan believes he’s just that stupidly in love with a girl who doesn’t feel the same way he does. It never changes and it’s not going to change today.

She cleared her throat, gathering herself, “I’m just gonna take a walk.” She said before hurrying out the room and the loft. Dan let out a huge groan as he heard Blair slam the door of the loft behind her.

“Shit.” He muttered to himself, plopping back down to bed. 

Blair doesn’t know what she did or what’s she doing right now but after walking out from Dan, she found herself standing in front of Lily van der Woodsen, waiting for Serena to come out of the room. “Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” Lily asked her, snapping Blair out of her trance.

She shook her head in reply, “No, thank you.” 

Soon enough, Serena walked in the living room, “Hey, B. What’s up?” She asked, a concerned expression on her face.

Blair stood up from the couch she was sitting in and made a beeline straight to Serena, engulfing the blonde girl with a hug. “Are you okay?” Serena asked quietly that only Blair could hear.

“I need to talk to you.” Blair muttered.

Serena nodded and pulled away, leading her best friend to her bedroom for more privacy. She closed the door as both of them entered the room and sat on the edge of her bed, waiting for Blair to talk. Blair took a deep breath, suddenly feeling nervous. She took a step closer to Serena and opened her mouth, waiting for something to come out but nothing did. Serena senses her nervousness and holds both of her hands, “Blair, you can tell me anything.” She smiled.

“I’m divorcing Chuck.” 

Serena was surprised but it’s not like she didn’t see that coming. “So, you talked to him?”

“Yes,” Blair said, sitting down next to Serena. “And, no.”

Serena raised an eyebrow at her.

“I went to the townhouse this morning, I just got some clothes and next thing I knew I was being slapped by Bass.” 

“Oh my god, are you okay?” 

Blair nodded in response and sighed, “Turns out he slept with Eva twice that night, as well.” 

“Jesus.” Serena muttered.

“I know.” 

“When are you going to tell him?” 

“Next week or something, I just don’t want to see his face right now.” Blair was just telling Serena about this and she’s already dreading it about seeing Chuck Bass again. Serena nodded understandingly, rubbing her back gently. “Is that all you want to tell me?”

“What do you mean?” 

“About you and Dan?” She asked with a light tease on her tone making Blair groan.

Serena laughed, “Is that why you want to divorce Chuck?”

Maybe. Maybe if Dan didn’t come back, she would forgive Chuck and try to forget about him and Eva but he’s here and Blair finally feels like she’s being appreciated and loved. 

“No.” Blair lies. 

“Are you gonna give him another chance? Because I’ve been home for a while and you’re still staying with him.” Serena pointed out. 

Blair didn’t answer her question because she’s afraid of two things. One, she knows Serena still have feelings for Dan and he was the reason why she came back here and two, if she says yes then she’s finally admitting to herself that she has feelings for Dan but this time she wants to make it work, she wants to tell him that she loves him back when he says it. Serena must’ve noticed it but she only gave Blair a smile, “Nate asked me for another chance.” She blushed.

“Did you say yes?”

Serena nodded, her face breaking into a huge grin.

“I’m so happy for you two.” Blair smiled back.

Serena laughed, looking down at her lap, “Yeah, it’s great. We promised to take it slow this time.” 

“That’s great.” 

Blair’s smile was slowly fading away, there was something inside of her that wants that too. Another chance and taking it slow with Dan. “Blair, it’s okay if you have feelings for Dan.” Serena reassures her.

“Are you sure?” Blair quietly asked.

“Of course, I didn’t want to get in the way between the two of you especially now.” 

“Thank you.” She whispered before hugging Serena tightly.

Blair felt at peace that night, she stayed at the van der Woodsen’s for dinner, just wanting to be near her best friend’s presence before she faces reality again. The two best friends lounged in Serena’s bed, gossiping and sharing stories just like old times. When it was already getting late, Serena offered to have a sleepover with Blair but she politely declined saying, “I have something I need to do.” And Serena already knew what she meant. Serena called a limo for Blair before they bid their goodbyes at each other.

“Text me, okay?” Serena said.

Blair nodded and gave her best friend one last hug, “Thank you, S.” As Blair rode back to the loft, she felt nothing but nervousness and exhilaration at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello beautiful people!! thank you again for reading my fic. i also created a twitter account where i can post more dair content, dm me and let's be friends so we can cry about dair <3
> 
> twitter: dioralways  
> tumblr: theasianwitch


	8. my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! sorry it's been a long time since my last update but here is chapter 8 and she's a lil shorter but i will be posting chapter 9 today as well. enjoy and thank you so much for reading! <3

The loft was quiet and dark when Blair entered and Dan wasn’t at the couch, assuming that Dan is already sleeping in his room. She slowly tiptoes through the loft, trying not to make any sound except the creaking of the floor, until she accidentally dropped her bag, her stuff cluttering around the floor.

“Fuck.” She mumbled, bending down to pick up her mess.

The light switch on Dan’s room turned on and he went out of the room, seeing what all the noise was about. “Blair? You okay?” He said, walking towards her to help her. He crouched down in front of her and grabbed a few of her make up that fell. Blair didn’t even notice it but she was staring at Dan for way too long, his curly hair was a mess and he’s wearing one of his plain grey shirts and black pajamas. He still looks sleepy and all Blair wants to do is pin him down the floor to kiss him. 

“Blair, are you okay?” Dan asked again, standing up and offering his hand.

She blinked and reached for his hand to stand up, “I am now.” She smiled. 

“Where did you go?” He said.

“To Serena’s.”

He nodded in response but unable to look away from the girl in front of her. 

“I need to tell you something.” She said. 

“What?”

“I’m sorry.”

Dan looked at her confusedly, “Is it because you walk out earlier? I understand, I promise.” 

Blair shook her head with a smile on her face, “No, I.. I’m sorry for not choosing you before.”

“It’s okay.” Dan looked down before looking back at her. 

“No, it’s not. You were the one who cared for me and accepted me for who I am and even loved me unconditionally. I loved Chuck but we could never work, we’re not high schoolers anymore. I’m tired of games and scheming and always running around in circles with him.”

“Are you sure?” Dan asked.

She nodded, “Yes and I realized that I made the wrong choice.”

“Where is this going?” Dan chuckled dryly, looking down.

Her face slowly breaks out into a grin, “I love being with you. I don’t need to play any games with you because we already have so much in common. You’re the only person who can make me feel relaxed and myself. I love myself when I’m with you. I never realized what I lost until you came back. I was so blinded by a high school love, thinking that it will last forever when there’s this person who is willing to do everything just to make me happy.” 

Dan carefully studies her face. Her eyes are shining and glossy but she’s not crying, she’s biting her lip to refrain herself from smiling way too hard. He gently places his hand on her cheek, caressing it slowly, “How will I know you won’t leave me and run off to Chuck again?” He asked. 

“Because this time, I know that I love you.” She said before closing the gap between them and kissing him hard. As Blair was kissing him, he has to blink a few times just to make sure that this is reality. Did she just say she loves him? She must’ve noticed that he was just standing there frozen, she pulled away, “What?” 

“Did you just say you love me?” 

She giggled, “Yeah, I love you, Dan Humphrey.” 

Dan didn’t need to hear anymore, he grabbed the back of Blair’s head and pulled her towards him, kissing her like his life depends on it. Moaning, she slid her tongue in his mouth, eager for more. She dropped her bag on the floor, not even caring about it now and she can feel Dan’s fingers slowly unbuttoning her coat and pushing it off of her until it lands on the floor. They broke the kissing off for a bit, to breathe and for Blair to take off Dan’s shirt as he unzips the dress she’s wearing, falling down on her feet along with her coat. She’s wearing her burgundy La Perla and God, Dan couldn’t keep his eyes off of her, it’s like he’s staring at a walking goddess. Blair was taking off her stilettos when she noticed Dan was staring, making her blush, “Stop.”

Dan’s eyes were still glued to her, “I’m sorry. You’re just so beautiful.” 

He said it so softly yet so passionate and she can see the love in his eyes. Blair didn’t waste any time, pressing her lips against his again, his hands went to her behind immediately, squeezing it and hoisting her up, making Blair squeal as they were kissing. Dan brought her to the couch, sitting down while Blair straddles him and grinds up against him. He left her lips as he moved down to her neck, hands unclasping her bra. She tilted her head to give him more access and moaning out when she felt his mouth on her breast and his rough hand playing with her other one. 

Blair starts whining, getting impatient and wanting nothing more but him inside of her.

Dan chuckled, pressing a chaste kiss on her lips before his finger trailing down in the front of her lacy underwear, moving it aside and pushing a finger in, thrusting it slowly before putting in a second one to stretch her out.

“Is that all you can do?” Blair moaned.

Dan raised an eyebrow at her, taking his fingers out and grabbing the back of Blair’s head to catch her lips into his before eventually pushing his member in her, caughting her off guard. 

“Jesus, fuck.” Blair said, receiving a breathy chuckle from Dan. 

Once Blair was fully adjusted, he started thrusting faster and aiming to her spot. Dan feels like he’s in the seventh heaven, hearing Blair’s moans and whimpers and he’s the one who’s causing that. He can die like this. 

“God, I’m close.” Blair breathed out. 

Dan nodded, aiming harder and faster to make her come. They both came at the same time, feeling high on ecstasy. 

“We just keep getting better and better.” Dan spoke after a few moments of silence, head leaned back on the couch while Blair rested her head on his chest, both of them refusing to move an inch away from each other despite feeling hot and sweaty. Blair laughed in response, lifting her head to look at him. She looks dazed out, pupils blown and lips swollen, she also has a few love bites scattered on her lower chest. All Dan could think about that moment is how gorgeous she is. Dan could write thousands of novels, talking about her and her beauty only. He leaned in, pressing a soft and gentle kiss on her pink lips, not wanting to go rough as to savor this moment forever. Blair was the first one to pull away and not a second later, she tried to stifle a yawn. 

“Please don’t tell me I’m that boring.” Dan joked, making Blair giggle and shake her head, “No, it’s just,” She stops to look at the wall clock, “It’s already one in the morning.”

“Do you wanna go to sleep?” Dan asked, his hand playing with the ends of Blair’s wavy hair. 

“Carry me?” Blair suggested.

Dan rolled his eyes, slowly pulling out of her causing her to whimper lightly and grabbed both sides of her thighs as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He carried her in his room, gently laying her down on the bed, pulled the covers up to cover her body and switched the lights off before climbing in with her under the sheets. The room was already dark, only the lights of New York City were brightening the room. They laid on the bed, facing each other with Blair’s eyes already closed and Dan watching her. 

With her eyes still closed Blair spoke soft, “I’m going to ask for a divorce this weekend.” 

“You don’t have to rush it.” 

“But I want to.” 

Her eyes opened to look at Dan who was staring at her, worried expression on his face and maybe even a hint of guilt in his eyes, like he’s scared for her. “Hey, are you okay?” Blair asked.

He bit his lip, unsure if he should even say it. 

“Dan, I already told you. I’m done with Chuck, I want to be with you.” 

Of course, Daniel Humphrey has his insecurities. He’s just a guy from Brooklyn, he doesn’t own a hotel or have a multi-million dollar company, wears suits everyday and drinks scotch on a daily basis. He’s a simple man and Blair Waldorf is far from simple, she’s extraordinary and was born into a lavish lifestyle who has expensive taste in life. Blair certainly doesn’t want to be in his world. With Chuck, she could have everything on the tip of her finger, she could have all the diamonds and shoes she wants in life and Dan couldn’t give her that no matter how much he wants to. Sure, Dan had an experience dating the daughter of a rich socialite but this is different, he’s not a high schooler with a crush on the Upper East Side’s golden girl. He’s smitten, whipped, and so in love with this evil dictator of taste in front of him. 

“If I didn’t come back that day, would you leave him?” He asked.

“No.” Blair answered.  
“Even if he cheated on you?”

Blair was silent but she nodded.

“Then why did you leave him now?”

“Because you made me realize that I am someone who doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. I promised myself that I would stop believing in fairytales but the moment you came and saved me again, I knew that I didn’t marry the prince charming I read about when I was a little girl.” She said.

Dan looked like he wasn’t still convinced. 

“I love you, Dan. It just took me so long to realize that.” 

“I love you too.” He replied, quietly. 

Even in the dark, Dan could still see Blair’s smile. He can feel her lean forward to give him a quick kiss on the lips. “Go to sleep, okay? I’m here now.” She said, wrapping an arm on his chest and head falling down near his. It didn’t take long for Blair’s breathing to become steady, indicating that she fell asleep already but Dan, on the other hand, couldn’t sleep. He can’t stop thinking about the night he told Blair that he loves her for the first time and all she did was look at him and smiled. They went to a nearby restaurant that night, she told Dan everything that happened to her that day but obviously that she’s avoiding what just happened before they got there. Blair stayed over that night and Dan might’ve whispered another ‘I love you’ to her when she fell asleep next to him, silently hoping she could hear and say it back but now, she finally said it. Blair finally chose him. He’s now hoping that Blair will always choose from now on. He pressed a kiss on Blair’s head before finally drifting to sleep.


	9. i think i'm finally clean

Days passed after Blair finally admitted to Dan that she loves him back, it’s a peaceful Saturday morning, only a few weeks left before Christmas and it already started snowing in New York. Dan can see that Blair looks more happy but a little agitated because Chuck still hasn’t called or texted her back about the divorce and she really doesn’t want to be near him right now. She’s currently sitting on the couch, rereading Breakfast at Tiffany’s and waiting for Dan to finish making his coffee and her cup of tea. 

“You know we haven’t gone out for like 3 days now.” Dan pointed out, bringing their cups to the living room and handing Blair her tea who carefully accepts.

“And I’d like to keep it that way.” Blair said, sipping on her tea before setting it down on the table. 

Dan leaned back on the couch, drinking his coffee and eyes are still looking at her, “Still no word from Chuck?”

She sighed, “Nope.” 

“Let’s go to Met today.”

Blair took her eyes off the book to look at Dan, “Can’t we just stay here?” She whines.

“Come on, Blair. It’s the last day of the Felix Vallotton exhibit today and I think it’d fun for us to have a little date today, it’ll help you get your mind off of things.” He said. Blair thought about it for a minute, as much as she enjoys hanging out with Dan in bed all day, she misses dressing up and going out. She closes the book, setting it down next to her, “Fine, you’re right. I’ll go get ready.” She said, pecking his lips before grabbing her cup of tea and heading to the room to get dressed. 

Thankfully, when she went back to the townhouse, she managed to get a few winter clothes. She grabbed a black turtleneck, skirt, and tights, going for an all black look and pairing it with white boots and white coat. She got dressed quickly and put on light makeup before fixing her hair. In the middle of her putting on makeup, Dan finally hauled his ass up and got ready as well, just taking one of his plain long sleeves and jeans. He grabbed a brown coat and took that scarf out from his closet.

Blair scrunched up her face, “God, that scarf again.”

“Hey, I love this scarf.” He said, giving her a look and still wrapping it around his neck regardless of Blair’s disgusted look.

Blair rolled her eyes and resumed putting a pink blush on her cheek, “I really need to take you shopping.” She muttered to herself. Soon enough, she was done and grabbed her Nancy Gonzalez purse, “Let’s go, Humphrey.” she said. Blair went straight to the door, waiting for Dan to hurry up and lace his boots. As she was waiting, her phone rang and when she looked at the caller ID, it was Chuck.

“Chuck.” She answered, coldly.

“Blair.” He replied. Blair almost shivered at the sound of his voice.

“I want a divorce.” 

There was a silence on the other line for so long that Blair thought he hung up already.

“I didn’t realize you were serious.”

“Well, I am.”

Dan must’ve heard the conversation as he stood at the end of the hall, looking at Blair and his face asking if she’s okay.

“Can you come by today?” 

Blair looked at Dan. She just wants this to get it done.

“Okay.” Blair said before pressing end on the call.

“So, that was Chuck.” She said to Dan, walking towards him as he is doing the same to meet her in the middle.

“What did he say?” He asked.

“He wants me to come by today.” 

Dan nodded, “Okay. Do you want me to come with you?”

She shook her head, “No, I need to do this alone.”   
He gave her a nod again, “Be careful.” 

“I love you.” Blair said, leaning up to kiss him.

“I love you too.” He muttered in between the kiss. When she pulled away, she looked at him for a moment before walking back to the door and leaving Dan. She opened the door and looked back at him, “I’ll meet you at the Met steps after lunch?” She asked, with a hint of smile on her lips and Dan gave her the biggest grin, nodding ‘yes’. 

The cab ride from the loft to the townhouse was nerve wracking. Blair can practically feel her heart beating out of her chest, she clutches tightly on her handbag until her nails are going white while her leg bounces relentlessly. If someone told her a year ago that she’d have to cancel a date with Dan Humphrey to talk about divorce with Chuck Bass, she would laugh and slap that person. She watches the streets pass by as she begins to reach closer to her destination and her heart could explode at any moment from nervousness right now. Now, she’s regretting not taking Dan with her, at least someone would be here to comfort her or even punch Chuck when he gets uncomfortably near her. After a while, the driver announced their destination, she paid him and went out of the cab. Taking a deep breath, she walked towards the door and knocked on it twice.  
Chuck opened the door, he looks much better than the last time Blair saw him. He’s wearing one of his striped suits, hair styled up, and a scotch on his hand with a cold look on his face. He stepped aside to let Blair in. As she walked past him to get inside, she noticed that the house is also clean now. He probably hired someone to clean for him since Blair texted Dorota a few days ago and explained everything that happened to her and Chuck. She only stood there silently, holding her bag with both of her hands as she waited for Chuck to speak.

He took a seat on the couch and motioned it for her to sit down as well which she refused by shaking her head, “I’m good here, thank you.” She gave him a tight smile.

“Suit yourself.”

“I’d like a divorce.” Blair said, cutting it to the chase.

“You’re not even gonna give this marriage a chance anymore? After one year, you’re already giving up.” He said.

“Chuck, you cheated on me!”

“And you cheated on me too but I forgive you, why can’t you do the same?”

“Chuck, you cheated on me when we were happy together. When we were still married.”  
“We’re still married, Blair.” He points out.

“No, the moment I saw you with Eva in our bed, I knew that our marriage was over.” She said.

Chuck didn’t say anything after that, only gulping down his drink. “So, you’re replacing me with Humphrey, I suppose.” He said.

“Don’t turn this around me, Chuck. I loved you. I waited for you. I did everything for you. Even when you treated me like crap, I still stayed and waited for you to love me. This is not my fault, it’s yours. I might’ve forgave you with the hotel accident and everything you made me go through just to prove my worth and love for you but that doesn’t mean I can forgive you with this one and Chuck, I could never replace you because Dan’s not like you and I don’t want to be near anyone who’s like you.”

Chuck looked at her, once his whole world now gone because of a stupid, drunken mistake. Out of all the things Chuck did to Blair, he should’ve known that she has a breaking point and this is it. He looked down to this almost empty glass before grabbing a folder next to him and slapping it on the coffee table. Blair flinched at the sound and looked back at him and the folder before slowly walking towards it and opened it. It’s the divorce papers and it was already signed by him. She looked at him again, who’s refusing to look back at her. 

“You already signed it.” She said.

“I got it after I saw your first text of wanting to get a divorce. I just thought maybe if you come here instead of sending it to you, you would give me a chance.” He said, looking at the hardwood floors, trying not to show her that he’s silently crying.

And Blair almost felt guilty. She almost wants to forgive him. She almost wants to take him in her arms and whisper that everything’s going to be okay but she had enough, all the years she spent trying to keep him together and keep him alive while he didn’t do the same thing for her. Sometimes she thinks that Chuck didn’t love her as much as she loved him. She faced the paper in front of her and grabbed the pen, signing her signature above her name. 

“I’m sorry, Chuck.” She whispered, trying to blink her tears away but failing.

No matter what Chuck does to her, he’s always been her weakness and seeing him like this, knowing she’s the reason why he’s like this, breaks her heart. Chuck finally looked at her, face filled with hurt, guilt, and desperation. “I love you, Blair.” He spoke so quietly that Blair almost didn’t hear him.

She only looked at him, not saying anything. Not saying it back, just like when they were in high school but this time it’s different. It’s not part of a game anymore, it’s real life. This is how their story ends after all those years of chasing each other. For the first time since she got here, she went closer to him and sat down next to him. As much as she hates him right now, she still feels pity for him. Her hand creeped up on his shoulder, “Thank you for everything, Chuck.” She said.

Chuck responded with a nod, drinking of what it’s left of his scotch. He quickly wiped his wet cheek with the back of his hand and cleared his throat, sitting up properly, “I’ll have this finalized before Christmas.” He said, standing up and going to the bar, filling his glass with scotch once again. 

Christmas. It’s going to be her first Christmas without him, last year they spent it in Paris because Blair wants to spend time with her Dad as well so Chuck surprised her with the tickets only two days before the 25th. Blair blinked the thoughts away when she heard a ping from her cellphone, taking it out of her purse, she can feel Chuck’s eyes on her. 

Dan sent her a text.

‘Do you wanna go see a movie after the Met? They’re showing Nights of Cabiria tonight.’

She doesn’t even notice it but her face breaks out in a smile as she was texted ‘yes’ to him.

“Humphrey?” Chuck spoke, still at the same spot.

“Yes,” She said, closing her phone and placing it back in her purse. She stood up and walked towards him but remained a safe distance between them. “I’m going to have my stuff picked up by tomorrow.” Blair said.

Chuck nodded slowly in response, not looking away from her, “I’ll have it ready by then.” He said, hoarsely. As they stood in front of each other, Blair can feel the magnetic pull between them and there’s no denying it at this point. They have chemistry, they have tension but Blair doesn’t want it anymore and she’s finally willing to cut that magnetic pull for good. She wants to walk away already. She cleared her throat and tightened her grip on the handle of her green Givenchy purse, “I’ll, uh, I’ll see myself out.” She said. He didn’t say anything, only watched her walk away from him one last time. 

“Blair?” He called out, as she opened the door.

She turned around, “What?”

“I’m sorry. For everything.” 

“I’m sorry too.” Blair said, giving him a smile before walking out and closing the door behind her. 

Once Blair had stepped out, she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders finally off. She felt free. She sighed happily, watching snowflakes fall from the sky. Blair grabbed her phone again and went to her contact list, her finger hovering on the button, thinking about whether or not she should press it. Biting her lip, she gently pressed the button and placed her phone on her ear as she walked on the streets of the Upper East Side on her way to the MET Museum. After three rings, the call was picked up.

“Blair, do you have any idea what time it is in Paris?” Eleanor’s shrill, annoyed voice greeted her.

“I divorced him.” Blair said and there was a silent on the other line, but she can hear rustling of the bed.

Blair told Eleanor what happened to her and Chuck a day after the incident and she was not happy, she was ready to go back to New York City just to slap Chuck Bass for hurting her daughter but after a good amount of pleading from Blair, she was able to make her stay put. 

“Well, how are you, honey?” She asked, softly.

Blair sighed, “I’m okay. I just never thought I would actually divorce him.” 

“That’s what I thought too when I was with your Father, but you know, things happened and it’s hard but if that didn’t happen I wouldn’t have met Cyrus.”

She smiled, “Yeah.”

“There are men out there who deserve you way more than him and who would treat you better.” 

“I know, Mother.” She said, a smile on her face as she walked closer to the Met steps and saw Dan, standing there and waiting for her, holding two cups of coffee.

“Do you want me to fly you out of there and stay here for a while?”

“No, I’m.. I’m okay here.” Dan finally sees her and gives her a big grin.

“Well, okay. Just call me when you need me. Love you, darling.”

“Love you too, mother.” She said before ending the call and stuffing her phone inside of her pocket as she went up the steps to be with him.

“Hey.” He greeted her, handing her the cup of coffee.

“Hi.” 

“So, how did it go?” Dan asked.

A wide smile stretched across her face and leaned up, capturing his lips into hers. Dan was taken off guard but he immediately put a hand on her waist when he realized what was happening and deepened their kiss. Blair pulled away, resting her forehead on his. “I’m thinking it went better than expected?” Dan whispered.

She giggled, Dan’s been making her giggle a lot lately, “Yes.”

“Good,” He said before pressing another kiss on her pink lips.

“I love you, you know that?”

“I do. And, I love you too.”

They slowly pulled away from each other, remembering the fact that they’re still in public and people are starting to stare. Dan held out his arm to take and Blair gladly accepted as they walked up the stairs more to go to the museum and when they’re both inside, looking at the paintings and exhibition, Dan’s telling her why Vallotton’s art is fascinating due to the fact that the portraits he had created were emotionless yet unique, Blair was just looking at him with pure adoration. The way he’s very passionate in arts and he knows what he’s talking about. As they were walking around the exhibit, Dan grabbed Blair’s hand and laced it with his, bringing it up on his lips to press a kiss on the back of her hand. Blair suddenly feels like she’s free as a bird where everything feels so easy for her and she could get used to being this happy in her life.


	10. invisible string, tying you to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOOO IM BACK!! im very sorry for not updating this fic but today's my first day of christmas break so i decided to finally update this. i hope you guys streamed taylor swift's new album 'evermore' because i have a lot of fic ideas based on her songs. hope you guys enjoyed this one!

Blair officially moved in the Humphrey loft when she took all her items from Chuck’s. She has more things than Dan expected which means bought a new drawer just for her clothes and some are even still in boxes, mostly summer outfits since it is still winter after all. Unpacking Blair’s clothes were probably the longest unpacking Dan Humphrey had ever done in his whole life. She was very particular about her designer dresses and she simply does not want it next to Dan’s plaid shirts. Dan had to ignore her for that one since there’s not a single space in his closet anymore. He thinks he might need to turn Jenny’s old room into a walk in closet at this point. When Dan takes Blair to breakfast joints at brunch, Japanese bars before midnight, and small bookstores in the afternoon when they have nothing to do in Brooklyn he could notice how she looks, secretly enjoying living in Brooklyn but he didn’t have to point that out. 

They went out to drink last night to celebrate and hooked up at some dark alleyway near the club, it was a bit disgusting but nonetheless, hot. Dan does not know how many whiskey he drank last night but apparently, more than Blair since she’s all chirpy for someone who kept asking for vodka shots. 

“Come on, wake up.” Blair said, patting his cheek. He groaned in response, can already feel the dizziness despite still not even being half awake yet. He opened one eye and saw Blair standing in front of the bed, already dressed up. Dan let out a groan once again, stuffing his face further into the pillow which smells like Blair’s shampoo. He heard Blair let out a short laugh before tapping his ankle repeatedly, “Daaaaaan.”

He sighed and lifted his face up to look at her, “Why are you dressed it’s only,” He glanced at his side to look at the clock, “7:30 in the morning.” He groaned before letting his head fall back again in the sea of pillows.

“Serena and Nate asked us to grab breakfast with them.”

“And you said yes?” 

“Yes! Now, get up or do I have to drag you out of there?” 

Dan can already imagine how stupid he looks, like a kid who’s close to make a tantrum. “Fine, fine.” He mumbled to himself, slowly sitting up. He kept his eyes on Blair as she watched him stretch his joints. 

“I’m not kissing you until you brush your teeth.” She smiled.

Dan rolls his eyes, “Fine.” That’s enough to get him out of the bed. 

Once Dan was clean enough and brushed his teeth twice, he took his time to pin Blair against the wall and kiss her senseless.

And, they got late because of it.

“What took you guys so long?” Serena asked, once the couple had sat down in front of them.

“Traffic.” They both lied at the same time receiving a funny look from Serena.

“I can never get Blair to ride the subway.” Dan said.

“And you still won’t.” Blair glared at him before facing Serena and Nate and giving them a smile.

“So, how are you, Blair?” Serena asked.

She shrugged, “Well, living in Brooklyn is not half as bad as I thought it would be.” she said, taking a sip of her coffee.

Nate chuckled at her response, “He’s planning to live in Asia for a while, you know.”

“Nate!” Serena said, slapping his arm receiving an, ‘ow! What did I do?’ from her boyfriend. “We’re not supposed to tell her that.” Serena muttered under her breath. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m happier now.” Blair smiled, she can feel Dan’s hand placed on her thigh, squeezing it. And, she is. For the first time in her life, she doesn’t feel like she’s caught up in a lie or pretending, this feels real. Blair finally got her pure and simple love. 

“Well, that’s great, Blair.” Serena said, sincerely, placing her hand on top of Blair’s.

Their breakfast was filled with questions about both couple’s relationships and jokes about merely a few years ago, this is the other way around. Their hangout lasted for about an hour before Nate received a call that had him to rush to his office immediately while Dan excused himself to go to the restroom, leaving the two best friends behind. 

“I’d never thought I’d see you this happy and relaxed when you’re in a relationship.” Serena suddenly commented.

Blair tilted her head, “What do you mean?”

“Well, when you were with Chuck, most of the time you seem tense. Like yeah, you were happy but you were never truly happy.” 

And Blair knows exactly what Serena is talking about. She looked down at the table, letting out a quiet chuckle before looking up at Serena again. Her best friend’s right, she was happy. She was happy she got the great Chuck Bass to fall in love with her and worship her every move but that’s it. It feels like it’s a prize that needs to be won, not the pure, simple love with each other. 

“So, are you gonna look for a new apartment or are you gonna stay in Brooklyn from now?” Serena asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

Blair blinked. “I, uh, I’m not very sure right now,” She cleared her throat. “I guess I’ll be fine in Brooklyn from now.” Blair said.

Serena raised an eyebrow at her, “You sure about that?”

“Yes.” Blair feels like she’s lying through her teeth. 

She loves living with Dan. She loves being able to wake up with him and have the best morning sex ever. She loves that he brings her breakfast in bed. She loves how they can stay up late at night, watching old movies or talking about books they’ve read. Sometimes, she kinda hates that there’s a construction going on near the loft and it gives Blair a headache or maybe the fact that the stove needs to be lit with a lighter in order for Blair to make her cup of tea, or the way Blair sometimes forgets that Rufus still likes to come by in the loft and Blair will walk around in her underwear, not knowing that her boyfriend’s father is there. Just that. 

Dan returned from the restroom, sliding in the booth next to Blair. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Blair grinned at him.

“What are you guys talking about?”

“Oh nothi-” 

“I asked Blair if she’s gonna stay in Brooklyn forever.” Serena interrupted.

Blair immediately kicks her shin under the table, resulting in an ‘ow!’ from Serena and giving Blair a confused expression as if Dan isn’t there next to them.   
He raised an eyebrow and looked back at Blair, “Do you wanna move out?”

“No!” Blair answered the question way too quickly. “I mean, no. I like living with you.” She said, in a much calmer tone this time.

Dan doesn’t look convinced. Blair knows they’re going to talk about this later. Fuck. She continued to keep a smile on her face until Dan looked away. “So, how’s the job?” He asked Serena.

She nodded and cleared her throat, “Great. They’re asking me to relocate to Los Angeles though.”

“And why did you just tell me this?” Blair said.

“I was just about to tell you before you started kicking my ankle.”

Blair rolled her eyes, “Are you going to LA?”

She shrugged, “Not really sure. I love my job and all, but I don’t think I wanna leave New York again.”

“Does Nate know?” Dan said.

“Yeah. We’re talking about how we’re going to make this relationship work.”

“Oh please, you two will make it work. Both of you have private jets for a reason.” Blair scoffed making Serena laugh. 

“I guess you’re right,” She said. “Well, I have to go, guys. I still have paperwork to do. I'll see you soon?” Serena said, gathering her things and leaving the restaurant.

Great.

Dan and Blair’s ride home was awfully quiet except for the horrible country music their cab driver put on. When they got back to the loft, Blair slowly closed the door as Dan took off his coat and placed it on the kitchen island. He faced her as soon as she fully closed the door and slowly turned around.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

Blair scoffed and walked closer to Dan, “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” Blair said, wrapping her arms around his waist and looking up to him, “I promise. I love living with you.”

Dan sighed, looking down at her, “But you don’t love living here.”

Blair made an offended expression, “Yes, I do.”

“Mhm. Plausible deniability.” Dan nodded.

She let out a scoff, “This is not plausible deniability.” 

“Yeah, sure.” He said sarcastically before placing a quick kiss on her nose and letting her go.

“I’m serious!” Blair defended herself as she watched Dan walk away from her and enter their bedroom. “Come back here, I’m still talking.” Blair said and not a moment later, Dan came back holding his laptop. He placed it on the kitchen island in front of Blair. 

“What is this?” Blair said.

Dan opened the laptop and searched the listings in the Upper East Side. 

“We’re gonna move out of here.”

“Dan.”

“Blair.”

“We don’t have to move away here, I know how much you love this loft.” 

“But you don’t know how much I love you.”

Blair blushed, “I’m serious. I’m fine living here in Brooklyn.”

“Yeah but this isn’t the life you want.”

Blair sighed, taking a step closer to him and putting a hand on his cheek, “It has you in it, it’s the life I want.” 

Dan looked at her for a moment then grabbed her hand that was placed on his cheek and laced it with his, “I just want to make you happy.”

“And you are,” She leaned up and kissed him. “You make me happy.” 

He was silent for a moment, only looking at her. “Are you sure?”

She nodded, “Very.”

“Okay.”

After that, that topic of conversation was dropped and it was never mentioned by Blair or Dan. Christmas came by quick, the couple decided to stay home and watch Christmas movies instead. They’re currently watching Home Alone 2: Lost in New York on Dan’s laptop while they’re both leaning on the bed’s headboard. 

“See this is why this movie is inaccurate. How could he get lost when the streets are literally labeled with numbers.” Blar scoffed, head resting on Dan’s chest.

“He’s a kid, Blair.”

Blair rolled her eyes and sighed, looking up to him, “Can we watch something else?”

“You were the one who suggested that we watch Christmas movies.”

“I meant movies like It’s a Wonderful Life.”

Dan chuckled at her before sitting up properly to get out of bed, making Blair move away from her position, “Are you getting the movie?” She said as she watched Dan make his way to his closet and dig through his clothes. “What are you doing?” Blair asked when Dan didn’t respond to her first question.

Dan turned around and Blair’s eye immediately caught the iconic Tiffany & Co. paper bag he’s holding. Her eyes remained glued to him and the bag as he walked back to the bed, sitting in front of her. 

“Merry Christmas.” Dan said, handing the bag to her.  
“I thought we said no gifts.” Blair said.

And they did. Both of them decided, well, mostly Blair decided that they won’t do gifts this year. She wasn’t really in the mood to go Christmas shopping and perhaps still scared that she might run into her ex-husband while buying something for her new boyfriend. 

“No, you said no gifts,” Dan pointed out. “Open it.” 

Blair did as she was told, gently taking out the blue box from the small paper bag and pulling the ribbon off. She opened the top to reveal a silver bracelet, her fingertips gently touched the jewelry before looking up at Dan.

“I know, it’s not, you know, the most expensive one there but-”

“Shut up, I love it.” Blair cuts him off, a huge smile forming on her face.

Dan smiled, letting out a huge relief, “Good.” He said before taking the bracelet out of the box as Blair lifted her wrist. He grabbed her hand, pressing a kiss on it then clasping the bracelet on her wrist. 

She took back her hand, examining the bracelet closer, “Thank you.” She said, leaning to him to kiss him.

“So, I know we said no presents-“

“You said no presents.”

She rolled her eyes at him, “But I got you something, think of it as a compensation.” Blair said, pulling away from him to reach on the side drawer and grabbed an envelope, handing it to him.

Dan raised an eyebrow but accepted it, he opened the envelope and saw plane tickets.

To Rome.

“I know I told you that I would go with you in Rome.” Blair spoke.

Dan beamed at her, looking like a little kid who just saw the Christmas tree at the Rockefeller center for the first time in his life. He grabbed the back of her head to bring her closer to him and to kiss her. Blair’s arms wrapping around his neck as she deepened the kiss, when she pulled away to breathe, closing her eyes, she leaned her forehead against his. “So, are you gonna come with me in Rome or not?”

“As long as you don’t leave me for the wrong guy again.”

“No, I got the right one here.” Blair giggled, before connecting their lips once again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! i will be posting the last chapter soon! <3
> 
> (shameless plug: pls follow my dair twitter account @dioralways im vv active there!)


	11. and all at once, you are all i want, i'll never let you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter everyone!! im really sad this is all over but i want to thank you everyone who read this fic and always supported me, ily guys so much!! this chapter is just purely dair fluff because THIS is the time jump we all deserved.

Blair had never thought she would leave New York and live somewhere else other than Paris but five years later, she’s now drinking her usual cup of tea and reading the local newspaper in Venice with Dan Humphrey in his usual seat next to her, drinking a cup of coffee and reading a book and a gold ring on both of their finger. Both of them decided to move to Italy for good after a year they went for a vacation. Dan is still writing, his creativity is overflowing in this place and constantly writes and publishes novels and each succeeds more than the last one. On the other hand, Blair decided to establish Waldorf designs in Italy as well, which Eleanor was unsure at first but it was a successful opening nonetheless. They live in a cozy Venecian apartment, big enough for both of them to have their own workspace and a balcony. 

Living in Italy allowed the couple to be successful on their own, making a name of themselves while still being a team. Dan is now a well-known author who had published seven books and one more on the way, Blair was able to make an empire for herself without the help of anyone. As much as the two enjoy the Venetian life, they still miss their friends and family back in New York. Serena and Nate have been married for almost a year now and Dorota works for them because Blair couldn’t handle firing her since Dorota doesn’t want to leave her family to live in Italy. Dan misses Rufus and Jenny terribly, however, Jenny visits them once a year since she works in Waldorf designs now. Blair also established a great relationship with her sister-in-law, as she is also acting out as her mentor. Dan was able to sleep in peace when the two finally saw together eye to eye. 

Today marks their second year anniversary of their wedding. The couple are eating breakfast, Blair reading the daily newspaper as she drinks her tea while Dan is scanning through his draft for his new novel while drinking his coffee. Dan set his coffee down to the table and showed Blair one of his drafts, “Do you think I should go through with this part?”

Blair tore her eyes away from the newspaper and looked at him, “Dan, I’m pretty sure whatever you write, it’ll turn out good.”

“Come on, just read it. You know, I trust your judgement.” He waved the paper.

Blair sighed, a smile on her lips, “Fine.” She grabbed the paper from him and read his draft silently. After a moment, she looked back at him again, “Huh, a woman unhappy with her marriage runs away with her best friend. I think I’ve heard that one before ” She eyed him, handing the paper back to him.

Dan took the paper back and chuckled.  
“Will all your books’ main characters be loosely based on me?” She teased.

He smirked, “Yeah, well, you’re my muse.”

Blair rolled her eyes, a faint blush on her cheeks, “Please,” She dropped the newspaper on her lap, clasping her hands together, “So, for today’s itinerary, I got us tickets for La Traviata at Teatro La Fenice and we can have a nice dinner after.”

“Isn’t La Traviata too dark for an anniversary?” He questioned.

Blair sighed, “Yes but it’s better than Pinnochio.” She stood up. “Be ready by 6:00, I’m gonna take a bath.” She said, leaning down to kiss him. Blair pulled away and left the room, hearing Dan shout, “Can I come?”

Blair locked the bathroom door before he could get in, telling him to wait for tonight. She heard him groan and left her alone. Blair prepped her bath, putting bath salts and making sure there’s enough bubbles on her tub. She took off her silk robe and slip and looked at herself in the mirror, she turned to the side and sighed at the sight of her small belly. Placing a hand on it and patting it, she whispered, “We’ll tell Daddy tonight, I promise.” When the bath was warm enough, she turned off the tap and got in. Closing her eyes, she thought about what Dan’s reaction might be when she tell him later. After they got married, they both agreed that they would wait until they got settled here in Italy. Blair recently found out two and a half weeks ago when she realized that she’s two weeks due from her period, she wanted to tell Dan the moment she found out but decided against it, thinking this will be a great gift for him on their anniversary. Despite the fact that Blair knows Dan will be more than happy to finally have a child, she’s still a nervous about it, not because she’s not sure who’s the father is, she is one hundred percent sure it’s Dan this time but because she once thought she would have her kid at a young age only to be taken away from her immediately and she doesn’t want that to happen. 

She placed a hand again on her stomach, rubbing small circles on it. The thought of Dan being the father of her child made her smile, she remembered when she was first pregnant with Louis’ child, Dan told her it wouldn’t matter to him that it’s another man’s child. She didn’t fully understand what he first meant not until they started dating that time. When her skin started to feel pruney, she got up from the tub and wrapped her robe around her. She drained the tub and moved to their sink, putting on her usual skin care routine, brushing her teeth and drying her hair. She got out of the bathroom and saw Dan laying down on their bed, looking up to the ceiling. 

Blair stopped on her tracks, “Were you waiting for me?”

He lifted his upper body using his elbows to support himself, “C’mere.”

Blair obeyed as he sat up properly, she placed herself between his thighs. She rested her arms on his shoulder, “What?” She spoke softly.

His hand went up to her waist, “Is everything okay?”

She furrowed her eyebrows, “Yes, what are you talking about?”

“We haven’t done it for over a week now, is everything okay?” 

Blair bursted out laughing, throwing her head back. Dan lightly shook her waist to bring her attention back to him, “Hey, I’m serious!”

Blair calmed a bit, biting her lip to refrain from giggling, “You sound like a horny high schooler, Dan.” She giggled more.

“I thought there’s something I’ve done.” Dan said.

She rolled her eyes, “I swear, everything is okay. I just want tonight to be special, that’s all.” Blair said, pressing a lingering kiss on his forehead. 

“Well, I just thought-”

She pressed her finger on his lips, “Shh. Trust me.” 

He sighed and nodded as she lowered her finger down, “Okay, I trust you.”

Blair nodded, “Good. I’m gonna get ready and pick out a suit for you, okay?” She kissed him again. 

“It’s only nine.” He said between their kisses. 

She pulled away, “As if you don’t know me, Humphrey.” She teased him with another peck on the lips before completely pulling away from him and walking to their closet.

“Oh, I do know you, Humphrey.” He said.

She looked back at him and gave him a wink before starting to pull out different kinds of suits for him and gently placed it on their bed. “Oh, I like that one.” He pointed at the grey suit. Blair pursued her lips, “Didn’t you just wear that for your book press?” 

“That was a month ago.” He pointed out.

She gave him a look before pulling another one out, “What about this one?” She showed him a black suit. “You can wear it with a grey polo shirt and a black tie. I think this will look exquisitely good next to my black dress that I will be wearing tonight.” 

Dan chuckled, “Well, I trust your judgement more than anyone so, sure.”

Blair squealed and clapped her hands, “Great!” She placed it on the bed and took the others back in the closet. She began taking out her outfit for the night, a sparkly black off-shoulder dress and her Manolo Blahnik shoes with her Dior clutch. She set it down on the bed as well with a proud smile on her face, “Oh, we’re gonna be the hottest couple later.” She muttered to herself. 

The day went on pretty quick, they mostly spent the day watching movies then when it’s two o’clock Blair decided to get her hair done first, putting it like Grace Kelly’s classic wave, she also did her make up while Dan lounges on their bed, idly scrolling on his phone. When she was about to put on her dress, she turned to him. “Aren’t you gonna get ready?” Blair said.

“I’m literally just gonna put on a suit.”

She rolled her eyes at him. Sometimes, men can be such pigs. She loves this one though. “Well, I wanna do your hair. So, please.” She batted her eyes at him, pouting his lips. She knows he can never resist it. 

Dan sighed and rolled out of the bed, “Alright.” The thing Blair hated the most about Dan was how quick he is to get ready, even when Blair already got a head start, he’ll always finish first and it’s so effortless Blair wants to hit him with her purse. She doesn’t know how he learned that from Brooklyn. Before Blair even knew it, Dan was already done. 

Rolling her eyes at him, she went to him and turned around, “Can you zip me up?” 

Dan obliged, slowly pulling the zipper of her dress up. He pressed a kiss on her bare shoulder before taking his hand off the zipper and making Blair shudder at the feeling of his lips on her skin. She faced him, “Sit down.” 

When Dan followed her orders, she went behind him and stared at him through the mirror. Grabbing the gel that was sitting on their vanity, she squirted a handful on her palm and ran her hand on his hair. As much as Blair hates it, Dan is growing out his hair again and she thinks he really digs that ‘starving artist’ look when he’s literally one of the most successful authors in Europe and America. Blair adored doing his hair, she loves being in control, just watching and teasing him by ‘accidentally’ pulling his hair, making him release a sound that he’ll cover up with a cough. She loves that. Blair styled his hair up, securing his curls at the back as he watched her through their mirror. It’s one of her favorite looks on him, she loves how posh and sophisticated he looks. She grabbed a comb and brushed it carefully a few times before announcing that she’s done. Dan grinned at her, refusing to take her eyes off of her. She smiled at him back, sometimes her mind still can’t comprehend the fact that she married Dan Humphrey and as each day passes by, she falls in love with him more. 

When the two arrived at Teatro La Fenice, the place was packed. They spotted a few tourists and some locals, it’s the first show of La Traviata after all. As Dan makes his way through the crowd, he grabs Blair’s hand, making sure he doesn’t lose her. The seats Blair got for them were pretty good, as soon as they both sat at their chairs, Blair immediately stood up.

“What’s wrong?” Dan said, looking up to her.

She gulped. “I, uh, I just have to go to the bathroom really quick.” She walked away before Dan could even say anything. She quickly paced to the girls’ bathroom and immediately found an empty stall before falling on her knees, moving her hair away from her face and puking her guts out.

Ugh.

Her hand blindly reached for the flush as her head was still in the toilet, waiting if something’s gonna come out more. When she reached the flush, she waited 30 seconds before flushing the toilet and pulling her head up. Wiping her mouth, she stood up and cleared her throat. She got out of the stall and washed her hands, popping a mint in her mouth and applying a lip gloss. Blair looked at herself in the mirror for a while and her eyes fell in her stomach. She’s not showing yet but if you look closely, you can tell she just had a really good lunch. 

She sighed, then left the restroom to go back to the theater. 

“Hey.” She said, taking a seat next to Dan.

“Hey, are you okay? You went off really quick.”

She nodded with a smile on her face, “Yes. I just had to use the ladies’ room.” 

Dan didn’t question it any further and they both chatted for a while and next thing they know, the show is starting. During the show, Blair kept taking a few glances at her husband. She can see the awe in his eyes as Act 1 unfolds, it wasn’t his first time watching an opera but it always amazed him. The couple both enjoyed watching plays or operas together, it’s something they both have in common even when they were still secretly hanging out together because they couldn’t really do that with anyone else. Even with Chuck, he knows how to enjoy a play or an opera but after that, he doesn’t talk or criticize it, he simply forgets. Blair thinks sometimes he just watches an opera because she wants him to.

But Dan, it’s different. It’s like watching a mirror, she never knew she could have so many things in common with the Upper East Side’s Mr. Lonely Boy. 

The play ran for two hours, they both stayed seated, not really wanting to involve themselves at the crowd exiting the opera. 

“Well, that certainly didn’t ruin the anniversary vibe.” He joked. 

Blair giggled, “I think it was phenomenal.” 

He nodded, “Yes but if you think about it, there was literally no point of Violetta leaving Alfredo to be with Baron when she’s just going to die at the same night.”

Rolling her eyes at him, she faced him properly. “It’s an act of true love. She was doing it for Alfredo and his family.” 

“She was going to die anyways. She should’ve just stayed with Alfredo.”

“Well, she doesn’t know that!”

Dan chuckled at her reaction, grabbing her hand, he stood up and motioned for her to do the same. “Come on, let’s go eat.” Blair followed him, intertwining their fingers together as they exited the theater. 

What the two love most about Venice is that the city sleeps late meaning they can roam around the streets, enjoying the beauty and even eat late dinners. Once they both exited Teatro La Fenice, Dan turned to her, “I got us a reservation at Ristorante Antico Martini.”

Blair smiled, “Great. I have been craving their fillet lately.” She said as they both walked towards the restaurant, not that far away from the theatre. 

Antico Martini is one of their favorite places in the city, it’s a small yet elegant restaurant. They took a seat at the terrace area where the hostess led them, she handed them their menus and left them alone for a while. Once she came back, she asked the couple what they would like to have for their drink.

“We would like your finest wine-”

“I’m sorry, he would like to have your finest wine. I’ll just have water.” Blair smiled at the girl who nodded and left them again.

Dan turned to Blair, a confused look plastered on his face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

She nodded, “Yes. I just don’t feel like having an alcoholic beverage tonight.” 

“Uh huh. Okay. Even if it’s our anniversary?”

She let out a small giggle, “Even if it’s our anniversary.” 

When the waitress returned to give them their drinks, they also placed their order. As soon as the waitress left, she turned to him, clearing her throat.

“Dan.”

He hummed.

“I have to tell you something.” She looked down at her empty plate in front of her.

“Blair, is everything okay? You have been worrying me all day. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Shh. You’re,” She did the talking hand gesture indicating he’s being hyper verbal once again. “As I was saying, everything’s great. It’s just I’m pregnant.” She bit her lip after she said the last sentence.

Dan’s eyes slowly widen, sitting up straight, “I’m sorry, you’re what?”

Blair laughed, “I’m pregnant.”

Dan covered his mouth, “You’re pregnant?” He asked, grinning as his eyes gleamed.

“Yes!” Blair nodded, a wide smile stretching across her face.

“Oh my god,” Dan whispered to himself. “When did you find out?” He said, taking her hand into his.

“A few weeks ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I wanted to be sure! And I figured this is a great anniversary present for you.”

Dan looked at her for a while, Blair swore she saw his eyes sparkle. “God, I could kiss you right now.” He said. 

She let out a laugh, covering her mouth. “Later.” She winked making Dan laugh too.

When their food was served, Dan kept asking questions about it as if she hasn’t been pregnant for only four weeks. 

“I haven’t gone to the Doctor yet, Dan.” She said.

It still didn’t stop him from continuously asking questions if she’s feeling okay or did she have morning sickness and how come she was able to hide it from her or did she started having weird cravings yet. Even when they were walking home, Dan’s hand kept creeping up to her belly and smiling so gleefully Blair thinks his jaw is starting to hurt. 

When they got home, Blair was glad to take off her dress and heels. She is now only wearing her slip while Dan is wearing nothing but his joggers, sitting at the edge of their bed and watching her brush her hair. 

“C’mere.” Dan said.

Blair looked at him through the mirror before putting down the brush and walking towards him. 

He gently placed his forehead on her belly, “Hey baby.”

“The baby can’t hear you yet.” A smile forming on her face as her fingers danced between his curls. 

“I’m your daddy. I can’t wait to meet you.” Dan whispered, ignoring her statement.

Blair hummed as she continued to listen to him talk to her belly. She felt him press a kiss on the middle of her stomach before looking up at her, placing his palm on her cheek and making her lean down to kiss him. She deepened the kiss as she sat on his lap, her hands refusing to leave his hair as she slowly grabbed it. Blair can feel the smile on his lips as their mouths move together. 

Life certainly has its ways to show Blair Waldorf that she’s with the wrong guy. After two failed marriages, she knows this is gonna be her last one, not because they’re expecting a child together but because this is the only marriage Blair felt like she has an equal even after being together for   
Five years and married in two, Dan never made her feel like she’s less of him. He always tells her that he would never try and make her feel like he’s above her because they are a team and they’re equal to each other. Blair couldn’t wait to see how their future is going to unravel but one thing she knows for sure, she’s not planning to let go of him because this time and forever, she chose him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it. please watch out for more fics, i will continue to create more dair fics for you guys. thank you again!!! happy holidays <3
> 
> (follow me on twitter: bettysfclklore /// tumblr: theasianwitch)


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